Miley Cyrus is the New Avril

Posted by Double M




I can't wait until the Olympics are over. It's not that I don't love them - I do - it's that they are destroying my life. I have been watching an excessive amount of the overnight Olympic coverage. At no point during this week did I go to bed before 2am. It's a beat down.

But it's also very exciting. There's been a lot of good stuff including beach volleyball, basketball, swimming, and even gymnastics.

Here's the thing that's crazy about gymnastics - a lot of those girls are young. Like under 18 young. And with what their wearing I'm pretty sure there's some pedophiles that go crazy during that stuff. To be fair, most of the intermist seemed to go crazy for things that did not concern underage girls. The main thing is Alicia Sacramone (that's a blog roll, so click it) the 20-year-old gymnast that cost America the gold. Some people find her attractive - I'd go with 616, and that might be high. I don't feel bad rating her because she's over 20 - there's no guilt in that. I would feel guilty rating He Kexin, a Chinese gymnast who apparently illegally competed underage. She is only 14!


Fortunately, for some reason or another, no one seems to be trying to rate her. And that's a good thing. Although, it's probably not because she's underage. We are pretty good at not caring if a chick is of age before we start talking about her hotness (see examples: The Olsen Twins, Hilary Duff). There are whole websites dedicated to this (that's SFW (safe for work)).

And now there's a new girl that people have been "stalking" - Miley Cyrus. Some dude even hacked her cell phone to find some racy pictures she had taken. I'm not gonna link to them because I'm pretty sure I would immediately regret it because I'm gonna say it borders on child porn.

And that brings me to the topic of today's post (you don't think I'm about to waste a Friday post talking about child porn did you?) - I think Miley Cyrus has become the new Avril Lavigne.


I used to love Avril (and I talked about her a lot on my old blog). There was something about Complicated, Sk8r Boi and I'm with You. If you listened to pop radio, you knew those songs, even if you didn't like Avril. At one point, I went as far as to declare Avril my psyche up music - just ask Ross.


In any case, something happened to Avril, I'm not sure what, but I think it started with this song, which somehow gets even more annoying in other languages. Seriously, she recorded it in like 8 languages - you can watch/hear it on the previous link. It also contains the image on the left which never ceases to make me laugh (yeah, I know, it's juvenile - but you should expect that from me by now).

Since that video it's been a continuous downward spiral for Avril. She dyed her hair blond, tried to become pop, and lost a lot of her fake punkish appeal. Add all that to the fact that she's Canadian and on a short leash to begin with and you can already guess what happened. She's off the grid now, but just before that, she decided to jump off a cliff and do a MadTV (the homeless man's version of SNL) episode. Here's a clip from the show that makes my head hurt.

Seriously, what kind of Chewbacca impression is that - that's not even close. But I digress. With Avril falling off the face of the earth, someone else had to step into her place with kinda annoying but ultimately catchy pop music - and that person is Miley Cyrus. I thought she might have a one-hit thing going with See You Again, but she came back with another kinda catchy song with 7 things.

Look, I am in no way encouraging you to go buy her music, all I'm telling you is that her CD is all the same kinda catchy pop stuff that you'll start to like if you hear it more than twice. And then you'll know the lyrics. And then you'll sing the lyrics. And suddenly you'll realize that your friends know the lyrics. And then you'll get drunk and sing them at a party. And now you have the new Avril. I'm just saying.

In any case, as a thank you for making it through a long ass, old school style post. Here's an unrelated video that should take you into the weekend.

Have a good weekend.