Friday, September 19, 2008

College Football is Blogged Here [9/20/08]

Posted by Double M & ADMohr

This is the 2nd installment where me & Mr. ADMohr (of ADMohr twitter fame) bet guess the spread of some intriguing college football games of the weekend. As always, he'll focus on football and I'll focus on other stuff. If you want/need more description, see original post.

Well, it's week 4 of the college football season and there's not a lot of exciting games this weekend. Thank god major conference play starts next week. In case you missed football this week already - K.State looked like shit this on Wednesday and Colorado picked up a crazy win on Thursday.

After one week of picking ADMohr took a small lead. See the pictures below.

MM: 7-4-1

ADMohr: 8-3-1

Those are pretty good records. Turns out if you were betting, you probably would have won money. In any case, here's our picks for this week.

A brief sidenote from ADMohr: I'm trying something new this week to hopefully improve the effectiveness of my delivery of information. Because what good is all that text if not presented in a useful way? So this week, I've outlined my game notes with BroSpeak 2003 for easy integration into daily convo. (Note – if you have a more recent version of BroSpeak, some translations may yield unintended expressions).

East Carolina -7.5 @ NC State 11:30am ESPN

Hey bro we should totally road trip this weekend: Well I can almost guarantee you we're going to see approx. 28 points out of the Pirates offense this weekend. Can State put up 21 points?

I can drive though my car only gets about 17 miles per gallon combined: Nope. In fact they'll be lucky to put up about 9-12 points, all field goals, against anybody. Don't worry though, ECU will face teams that actually have the potential to beat them some other week.

Come on dude it would be sweet to party on another campus. Have you even seen Road Trip?: East Carolina covers the spread.

MM: It's the Purple Pimp Pirates (see last week) vs. a team that forgot that you win football games by outscoring your opponents. Seriously - NC State has failed to score a TD against a real opponent. Plus Harrison Beck is still on that team. ECU wins, covers, and beats down the wolfpack. On an unrelated side note, here is Grimmace (he's purple) dancing.

Alabama -9.5 @ Arkansas 11:30am

What's cooler than being cool?: Hey bro that Razorback offense hung up 500 yards... on a defense that gave up 34 points to Auburn. And sure, that Bama defense SHOULD be quite a bit better. But still, if Bama pulls out a Tulane-type of shut down here, Razorbacks should at least have enough to cover.
ICE COLD: I don't think we'll see a complete Bama offensive shut down again here, but they probably are going to come out slow being on the road at the 11:30 game, and they're probably looking forward to next week because Saban is all inconsistent as hell like that. Or, Bama will win by 30.

Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright: Arkansas beats the spread.

MM: I now have Andre 3000 caught in my head. I would have gone with "Shake it like a Polaroid picture" for the last line, but that's just me. Anyway, Nick Saban is pictured on the left. That is a real picture. Would you ever pick that guy's team to cover? No. Arkansas beats the spread and probably wins.

Florida -7.5 @ Tennessee 2:30pm CBS

Who Da Man: So that UCLA defense that looked pretty good against the Vols didn't look so hot last week after all. And the Vols were able to beat UAB, a team that hasn't put together a win in three games.

You Da Man: These 7.5 road favorites in the SEC are suicide. Plus, (better) Vols teams were able to take care of the Gators no problem last two times out in Knoxville. Plus all it would take is the Vols to come out slow, and they could be playing catch up, depending on if the Gator D really is better than last year.

No You Da Man: Florida covers the spread.

MM: Remember the show Press Your Luck, where contestants would yell "No Whammies! STOP!" at a big board full of cash and prizes? Well, one time, I saw some dude go like a bazillion times straight without losing. He set the record for Press Your Luck I believe. In any case, I feel that Fat Phil Fulmer (alliteration bitches!) has been pretty much doing the same thing with his job at Tennessee for the last few years. He keeps gambling (keeps losing) but stays alive against all odds. I think at this point he likes the stress/turmoil. So Tennessee loses and Florida covers the spread.

Virginia Tech +3 @ North Carolina 2:30pm ESPN

Holla atcha Boi: Do you really put your money on the favorite when the favorite eeked out a win over McNeese? And sure they looked dominant last week – but I saw an awful lot of blown coverages and interceptions via Teel.

Holla atcha Girl: What possible reason do we have to fear the VT defense anymore? GT handled them in total yards last week, I think just seeing UNC has a competent offense should be enough to win this one.

Holla Back Yungun: North Carolina covers the spread.

MM: Another exciting ACC showdown that I refuse to watch. Fact: I know the cell phone #'s of 4 North Carolina alumni football players in my cell phone and if I knew them better, I would call them and let them know that mediocre teams always lose to Va Tech because they make mistakes. Va Tech beats the spread (plus I'm tired of picking the same picks as ADMohr).

Boise State +10.5 @ Oregon 2:30pm

$5 for a Keg Cup: How many quarterbacks does Oregon have? And we're supposed to buy that they can all just suddenly run the offense?

We need $5 more for another Keg, this one's almost dry: Well the answer for the super Nike-jerseyed Ducks is that they put up a nice 300 yards on the ground next week. Oh yeah, and they haven't run for less than 250 yards in any game yet. Boise State isn't going to give up that many right? They can just put 10 in the box and force Oregon to throw right? RIGHT?

We still need $20 for another Keg. It's seriously almost out come feel how light it is: Boise State beats the spread.

MM: Thank God this isn't in Boise. If you didn't know, Boise rocks out on a blue football field and Oregon is known for having the worst jerseys in football. If Oregon wore those jerseys on Boise's blue field, I'm pretty sure my TV would explode. Unfortunately for Boise, Oregon is playing at home (on a normal green field) probably in their green jerseys camo-styl-e, thus allowing them to score at will and cover the spread.

Miami -3 @ Texas A&M 2:30pm ABC

Cops down the street. COPS! EVERYBODY SHUT UP!: So, the A&M defense, they're not going to stop anyone. I guess the only positive for them at this point is that they actually held Arkansas State to 18.

EVERYBODY SHUT UP DO YOU WANT TO GET CAUGHT?! SHUT THAT LIGHT OFF!: The Miami offense might not actually be very good btw, I mean just saying that the Florida defense might not be as strong as we saw in that game the other night. But still, they should be good for about 30 points at least, which should be about 15 to 20 more than they'll need.

The Cops say everybody has to leave now. Everybody. Get out of here, you can't stay here: Miami covers the spread.

MM: I have been to College Station. Nice people there. But here's the thing about their football games - they are a little weird. And by they, I mean the fans. Seriously, some of their fans do this:

W. T. F. A&M looks horrible - I hope for the staff's sake that Sherman gets a couple years. Miami covers a ridiculously small 3 point spread. I would bet the shit out of this game (if it were legal).

Notre Dame +8.5 @ Michigan State 2:30pm ESPN2/ABC

I'm so sick of Pizza seriously it's in the dorms every single day and it's given away at every single social organization's meeting and then we eat it all weekend it's ridiculous how much pizza goes through these people: Michigan State looks good for about 400 yards of offense, and something tells me they won't turn it over every single time like those Wolverines did, either.

How about a beer dude? You want a beer for dinner?: You're telling me MSU is 9 points better? I mean as a general rule you should just never bet on anything related to MSU football. But still, I think it's about time for the Notre Dame self-destruct to commence.

Sweet man where'd you get that beer? I didn't think there was any left. Thursday we drank it all on the way to Arby's on the way back from that party: Michigan State covers the spread.

MM: Notre Dame shouldn't have won last weekend. Seriously, all they did was take advantage of the fact that Michigan apparently still had KY on their hands from the party the night before and fumbled the ball all over the place. Also, Charlie Weis tore his ACL. You may wonder how a coach tore his ACL - well here's video evidence:

You can real see the video here. The team is going to be tired from carrying his fat ass around all week, so Michigan State covers.

Wake Forest +4 @ Florida State 6:00pm ESPN2

I only got $75 for all three textbooks that's such bullsh*t, but still, Corona's this weekend bro!: LOL @ Florida State Socon Champs '08. Oh wait a second – these aren't even good Socon teams. I'm being completely serious – App and Elon are going to hang 50+ on these chumps the 'noles have played.

I don't even think they'll buy my books back I have the older versions. Plus do you think we should keep them in case we need them next semester?: You want to talk Socon – and again I'm being completely serious here – watch out for Wofford at South Carolina this weekend. I'm thinking that score-never Smelley-Spurrier offense is up for a let down this week against one of the better 1-AA teams. Boy that'd really put the OBC over the edge.

Bro, I didn't even touch my textbook all year long. I'm being completely serious. And I got a B- : Wake beats the spread.

MM: Well, Florida State is ranked again. Is it because they are good or because voters are dumb and just stick with teams they know? It is the latter. Wake Forest Double D's (seriously, they are the Demon Deacons) beat the spread and probably win by 3.

LSU -2.5 @ Auburn 6:45pm ESPN

Up High: LSU offense looks good so far, provided they play teams that can't stop the run or defend much at all. And Auburn looks dominant against the run against teams that don't look that strong at running the ball.

Down Low: What are we going to get out of LSU qb play when the run is stuffed? And even though Auburn was held to a miserable 3-2 win last week, they did manage to put up 318 yards total offense.

Fist Bump: Auburn beats the spread.

MM: Did you see the score from Auburn's Women's Soccer team's game last week? 3-2. Apparently a good game but a chick got 5-holed to end it...wait a minute. That was the score from their game vs. Miss. St. last week. Sweet Jesus. I have no idea how good either of these team are, but if you can only score 3 points, you're not beating LSU. LSU covers and wins.

Georgia -7 @ Arizona State 7:00pm ABC

Pimpin' Ain't Easy: Sure they overlooked UNLV but they can rack up the yardage against anybody (in their own conference). You can totally see Carpenter coming out and having a better game thnt Stafford (if he has time and isn't killed).

Big Pimpin' Baby. Big Pimpin' Spendin' Cheese: Knowshon has to establish a constant ground game for Stafford to make that offense work. And while the SC defense I think proved itself last week and ASU's defense shouldn't be nearly as good, admit that this one has spoiler potential just because of it being an SEC team in the west and an upset-potential offense.

Pimp Juice WhooWeee: Arizona State beats the spread.

MM: All these pimp themes should have gone with ECU don't you think? Also, I may have jacked up Mohr's order because I put the games in time order. I can't believe this is the night game. Arizona State wasn't a good team last year (they got exposed near the end) and they aren't a good team this year. I know Georgia is on the road, but they should cover the spread unless they get distracted by all those ASU co-eds. I'm sure they will OK - hell, maybe it's ASU that should be worried. It seem that Georgia can take power over everyone - even the announcers (make it to the end of that video!).

That's the picks. We've even included a pick chart this week to help you remember the post. Have a good weekend.


Adam said...

MM -

Great chart, that's going to help a ton, I think I read last week's post six times on Saturday just trying to figure out who we'd pick.

I'm sure you've seen it everywhere too, but this George Brett sh*tting himself youtube is absolutely the greatest thing I've ever seen.

Shabutie said...

Where the fuck was my Regret(s) of the day?!

MajorLB said...

I'm still recovering from taking my punishment yesterday. Hopefully you read the live-tweets yesterday. It could take a couple of days for me to heal before I can revisit the incident for your benefit, okay?

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