Thursday, September 11, 2008

Immediate Regret Draft: Best Will Ferrell Characters

Last year, I did a football pick'em league with Wheezy's, his dad, and my friend Blair, among other people. It was awesome because it put real stakes on every single NFL game. Unfortunately, this year, due to certain work involvements, I felt this wasn't the best idea; however, I can still play fantasy football which is pretty close. No matter what you think of fantasy football, one of the best parts of fantasy football is drafting with my friends - mainly because we just rip on each other throughout the draft.

In any case, on my old site I came up with *cough*stole*cough* a great way to enjoy the drafting process: draft random things and we've decided to bring the idea here to Immediate Regret.

The rules of the draft go like this:
- Snaking order, which means if you draft first in the first round, you draft last in the last round (the order is randomly determined)
- 3 rounds
- Each pick contains a brief description (in italics) of why the pick was taken
- You all vote on who had the best draft

But we've decided to spice things up here at IR. First of all, each week the loser of draft will go through some penalty. For instance, the loser of this draft will have to pay to go see Disaster Movie, a movie still rocking 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. That sucks (please, God, let it not be me).

Wheezy Addendum: Not only must the loser go see Disaster Movie, but there will be an IR writeup on the experience, complete with photographic evidence.

Also, the loser will have to be the moderator of the next draft - essentially they cannot draft. This means we will have an open spot in the drafting order for a Guest Drafter in the next draft. You can actually become a hop on! That drafter will get to participate in one draft unless they win, in which case they will be invited back (so if you'd like to participate, let me or any IR writer know).

For the first draft, though, we will kick it with just the 5 IR contributors. The order is as follows:

1) Andy
2) MM
3) Wheezy
4) MajorLB
5) Ross

Topic: Best Will Ferrell Characters

Draft Note: Not only is this a long post, but there's a video at every spot today. Get ready to spend some time.

First Round

1. Andy: Ron Burgundy (Anchorman)
I think its a pretty obvious choice, but well deserved. I love the story that everyone was told to grow out their hair for their roles with the intention of having the hair and makeup team take care of the rest, but Will Ferrell showed up looking exactly as he does in the movie. Stay classy IR.

2. MM: Frank Ricard (Old School)
While Anchorman has some ridiculous lines, Frank the Tank has changed our everyday lingo: "Once it hits your lips, it's so good!", "Home Depot...Bed, Bath and Beyond...", "You're crazy. I like you, but you're crazy.", "You're my boy, Blue." Honestly, you could just watch disconnected clips (like the gymnast dance) of his character from that movie and still have a legit comedy.

Andy: Personally I think I quote Anchorman more than Old School. Who doesn't have an apartment filled with many leather bound books and smells of rich mahogany these days. Solid pick though.

MM: That may be true - I was just trying to sum up my argument for why I would pick Frank Ricard as a better character than Ron Burgundy in two sentences. Although to be fair, I would consider these 2 the 1a and 1b of Will's career.

3. Wheezy: Robert Goulet (SNL)
Good solid #1 and #2. No doubt, Ferrell has had many a hilarious movie character. But for my money, you simply can't beat his Robert Goulet. Honestly, those skits were just Ferrell, a car, and a blue screen, plus the occasional ram. For me, Goulet was Ferrell's first truly quotable character, one that I feel gave a lot to his Ron Burgundy in later years.

Ross: Damn. I was hoping to snag that pick. GOULET!

4. MajorLB: Buddy the Elf (Elf)
BUDDY THE ELF! WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? In Elf, Ferrell takes his usual oblivious ignorance displayed in A LOT of his characters and makes it that oblivious ignorance of a innocent child. It was good to see a more family friendly character come from him without losing any of the funny.

5. Ross: Gene Frenkle (SNL)
This draft needs MORE COWBELL! Will Ferrell's lines tend to invade pop culture like nobody else, and MORE COWBELL may be one of the most pervasive. Hell, I even saw it on someone's shirt at the GOP Convention.

Wheezy: I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure the line MORE COWBELL wasn't Will Ferrell's, but rather Christopher Walken's.

Ross: Will Ferrell does say "more cowbell" at least a couple times. Maybe he doesn't say MORE COWBELL! but I don't think Walken does either. What can I say, I was drinking.

Wheezy: Well, you can certainly say you were drinking. That's a good response.

Andy: Chris Walken says that he has a fever and the only cure is more cowbell.

Ross: I know how the skit goes, and I don't want to bog this down in semantics- I was simply stating that both of them use the phrase. I was simply stating I'm not sure who was more emphatic in the phrase "MORE COWBELL!" And I didn't mean to use the phrase simply stating twice. I hate when I do that.

Second Round

6. Ross: Harry Carry (SNL)
With the first pick of the second round I choose Harry Caray, one of his most beloved characters. Normally by the middle round of a draft you have to start making stretches for good picks. I feel like this pick is as good as any made so far, and I'm sure we'll see a lot more good ones coming up.

Wheezy: Nice pick. He was definitely high up on my list.

7. MajorLB: Jacob Silj (SNL)
I think I knew some of his lines ("A LITTLE BIT SOFTER NOW" and "I CAN'T CONTROL THE MODULATION OF MY VOICE") before I watched SNL or even really knew who Will Ferrell was.

Draft Note: I couldn't find an online clip of this, but if you want to see an SNL skit featuring Jacob, you can download a clip here.

8. Wheezy: Gus Chiggins / The Old Prospector / Josh Macadoo (SNL)
Why this skit never made it to air is beyond me. I mean, if having cast members laugh during a skit is cause for keeping it out of the show, then Jimmy Fallon would never had made what little career he had.

9. MM: Steve Butabi (A Night at the Roxbury)
Steve Butabi introduced an awesome dance move, made the song "What is Love" ultra popular, and his dance scene in Night at the Roxbury is still performed at weddings I attend. If you don't believe me, make it to 2:10 into this video.

Andy: Ah Steve Butabi. Probably one of his most recognizable characters and the one I find the most annoying.

10. Andy: George W. Bush (SNL)
His portrayal of Dubya is hilarious and also just a little depressing. For proof I submit the following evidence:

Third Round

11. Andy: Ricky Bobby (Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby)
I'm a little surprised that this one didn't get picked earlier, but I will take advantage of that. Ah baby Jesus

MM: I thought Ricky Bobby was going to fall to me. Impressive.

12. MM: Lance DeLune (The Ladies Man)
If you have never seen The Ladies Man, you are missing out on one of the truly great performances of Will Ferrell's career. Honestly, he carries that movie. Plus he was married to Tiffani Amber Theissen so you have to respect that. Here's some evidence.

13. Wheezy: Jack Wyatt/Darin (Bewitched)
Just kidding. I might as well go see Disaster Movie right now if that is my pick.
13. Wheezy: The Patriarch from the skit "Family Dinner" (SNL)
Not familiar with whom I speak? Check out this Hulu vid. One of my favorite Ferrell lines from all time "I DRIVE A DODGE STRATUS".

14. MajorLB: Harold Crick (Stranger Than Fiction)
Stranger Than Fiction was an excellent movie. I always enjoy seeing someone brilliant like Will Ferrell in an unfamiliar role and still be awesome.

Andy: Good pick there. I mulled the idea myself since I did think it was also an excellent movie.

Wheezy: I also thought it was a great movie, but not particularly because of Will Ferrell. Just sayin'.

15. Ross: Mr. Tarkanian, Boss from Hell (SNL)
It's like the family dinner on steroids. It might be a little obscure for those of you who don't own the Best of Will Ferrell DVD. I really feel like this draft could have gone another three rounds no problem. There's a lot of good picks we have yet to hit I think. God bless Will Ferrell.

So that's the draft. To recap:

Andy: Ron Burgundy, George W. Bush, Ricky Bobby
MM: Frank Ricard, Steve Butabi, Lance DeLune
Wheezy: Robert Goulet, The Old Prospector, The Dad from "Family Dinner"
MajorLB: Buddy the Elf, Jacob Silj, Harold Crick
Ross: Gene Frenkle, Harry Carry, Mr. Tarkanian

There's a poll in the top right corner of the blog - make sure you click through (just click here and vote - it actually means something now. The poll will close next Thursday at 12:00 AM

We know we probably missed some of your favorite characters as well - let us know in the comments.


BB said...

There's no doubt in my mind that Wheezy won this. Everyone else was a close second, except for MajorLB who, due to questionable picks from the get-go, is in a very distant last place.

MajorLB said...

Not my fault that I was low in the draft and Will Ferrell was off SNL by the time I was old enough to stay up and watch it!

D Wheezy said...

Huh how about that. Full Sail University is in our Google AdSense right now.


Shabutie said...

@majorlb What are you 12?

Looks like Ross is now in the loser circle. I was tempted, since Harry Carry is one of my favorite characters, but I could not justify not voting for Burgandy and W

Wesley said...

Wheezy is a solid first on Goulet alone. He is the Tomlinson of Ferrell characters - singer, actor, and he can stare down a ram.

Ross may be pulling in last in voting, but he got the sleeper in Mr. Tarkanian. How he went last, I'll never know.

Double M said...


I forget how young @MajorLB is sometimes. I'm pretty sure I made some inappropriate remarks to her before she was old enough to hear them...

Ben said...

i can't believe no one picked Chaz from wedding crashers.


D Wheezy said...

I called Ross and let him know the score - (he's driving today). He feels like perhaps he's losing because people don't immediately recognize the name Gene Frinkle in the voting area, and would like to have "Cowbell" added - like Gene "Cowbell" Frinkle.

I told him I'd bring it up.

Double M said...

We can't change the poll once people start voting.

Besides, that's a bush league excuse - it's explained in the post itself.

Double M said...

@ben Also, I loved Chaz from Wedding Crashers but ultimately decided against him because he wasn't really a crucial part of the movie.

That said, his hang gliding line may be the funniest thing in the movie.

D Wheezy said...

Do you think there's much voting without reading the post in its entirety?

I wouldn't be surprised. It's a long post. And I know at least half of the people I know who read our blog are illiterate.

Double M said...

That's why I post videos.

Shabutie said...

I'm afraid I couldn't help be re-evaluate my vote. After watching the Harry Carry stuff on youtube again. That and my wish to not force Ross to watch Disaster Movie sorta played into it. Apologies to the teenager if she ends up losing :-P

Ben said...

i just talked to ross and he cant believe hes losing to Harold "fucking" Crick.

exact words.

MajorLB said...

1) He's not at the moment.
2) Hahahahaha.
3) I like that this has stakes. I care a lot more.

D Wheezy said...

I agree. The stakes make things waay more interesting.

And Shabutie, don't change your vote on account of pity. That's bush league. (Apparently we're bring that phrase back)

MajorLB said...

Was that phrase ever gone?

Royalcow said...

@ben I also almost went with Chaz but I couldn't pass up Ricky Bobby or Dubya.

D Wheezy said...


I dunno that it was ever gone but it certainly took a vacation of sorts while other phrases came into the mainstream. None of which I can think of at the moment. I'm sure Double M can refresh our memory, he's taught me everything I know.

Without him I'd still be saying things like "I'm the baby, gotta luv me!"

Ben said...

i cant believe no one picked this

D Wheezy said...

Yeah, that was a bit surprising. Honestly we could have probably taken this draft for another 3 rounds, but that would have made for one obscenely long post.

Adam said...

This isn't deserving of a pick - but perhaps worth a free agent signing nonetheless. I was a big fan of his pregame bit w/ Matthew McConaughey where he played... himself... but that was the bit where they argued about who was better, who was going to win, etc., and Will used something to the effect of 'I can't hear you, I have two heisman trophies in my ears' which is 1) hilarious and 2) a great spin on Patrick Roy's original comment at Jeremy Roenick from 1996 in the Stanley Cup playoffs.

Point of all this - why does this particular role matter? Because it's arguably the only time ever that an intentionally funny pregame skit for a major sporting event has ever actually been funny.

Double M said...

Here's a clip of what Mohr was talking about:


TK said...

I have to go with my man Wheezy on this draft. Goulet alone holds his own, but when you add in the old prospector and the number of times I've gone over the top in random arguments with the line "I drive a Dodge Stratus," it's a three round domination. Well done, Daniel. I might add that you all missed one of Ferrell's most disturbing skits ever:

Anonymous said...

Scott here. Ross is making me vote to help his chances. So my vote is Wheezy won. With Goulet falling to the 3rd pick, it was his for the taking.

Ross said...

I'd like to point out that I merely pointed Scotty to the website and mentioned I was losing. I didn't exactly tell him how to vote.

And I was really hoping Goulet would have been available for my first pick. Damn you Wheezy and damn you Disaster Movie!

Double M said...

Holy nuts - late charge by RoyalCow.

Less than 12 hours to go...

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