This is the second post in our IR Pop Culture Cagematch (IRP2C?) series. This series is pitting Ghostbusters against the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Previous posts: Television.
Hey everybody - it's my turn to step into the cage match. My topic today is the Weapons.
For those of you that don't know, the Turtles were ninjas, so they used ninja moves. But they all had their own ninja weapons as well:
Leo: Katana (swords)
Donatello: Bo Staff (a big long wooden staff)
Raphael: Sai (short daggers)
Michelangelo: Nunchucks (also in one of the cartoon season, he used a grappling hook for some reason)
Meanwhile, the Ghostbusters use a proton pack (pictured below) which fires a stream of energy that can hold a ghost in place until a ghost trap (also pictured below) can be used to capture the ghost.
So, now that you know the weapons, let's break this down. I've devised a few simple categories to help make this decision easy.
Cost: Well, it would seem that the Turtles' wooden sticks and metal (plus kicks/punches) would be way cheaper to manufacture when compared to the mini-nuclear reactor that is rocking in the proton pack. I have no clue what it costs to get a legit sword, but I have to assume that it's not in the million dollar range. I don't know - maybe I'm off. No, no I'm not. Advantage: TMNT
Power: Well, the Turtles could beat you with their wood or maybe slice you unless you had some sort of armor (or even a car). The Ghostbusters could fry your ass with a proton stream, trap you in their ghost trap, or potentially make you explode if they crossed the streams. Look, here's what could happen if the streams are crossed:
Yeah, apparently you could puke poop. Advantage: Ghostbusters
Mobility: Well, Michaelangelo and Raphael would seem to have this one rapped up with their small weapons, but Donatello has to carry a 6-foot stick around. This would seem not so easy to carry, especially if it's on your back. Leo is carrying 2 swords and I wouldn't put it past him to have had a few sword accidents. Meanwhile, the Ghostbusters are all carrying around mini-nuclear reactors on their back. I imagine those things were heavy. Plus, they were all an unfortunate break away from a nuclear explosion. I'm pretty sure that I'd much rather run around with the Turtles weapons. Plus, if the turtles had the big backpacks on, I'm not sure they'd be able to fight like this.
Vanilla Ice, ya'll! Advantage: TMNT
Imitation: When I was a kid, I never really had toy guns (until Nerf guns that is) and I definitely didn't have swords or nunchucks. As such, my brother and I would just act like we had the weapons. When imitating these weapons, imitating guns was way more fun and way more likely to happen. When you're a young male, everything becomes a gun, probably even a bo staff if you had one. Plus, when you tag your friend in the throat with your ninja weapon, you get in trouble. Advantage: Ghostbusters
Let's Switch Weapons, Who's Better Off: Let's say the Turtles get the proton packs and the Ghostbusters get the ninja weapons. Who's better off? well, the Turtles would probably lose their ninja edge, but I'd venture to say they'd be able to beat the hell out of some bad guys if they had guns. Meanwhile, I'm pretty sure the Ghostbusters would have died if they tried to fight ghosts with some swords and nunchucks. Just imagine trying to clean up this mess with a sword:
Is it a Gun?: There's a reason we use guns in our army - they beat the hell out of swords. If I was going to fight something - anything, you pick - and I have the option of the proton pack and the ninja weapons in front of me, I'm going with the proton pack 100% of the time. Look, here's what happens when you try to use a sword in a gun fight.
I think I'll take the guns. Advantage: Ghostbusters
I think that makes it a pretty clear 4-2 decision in the case of the Ghostbusters.
Ghostbusters vs. TMNT: Weapons
After two posts, the decision is tied up at 1 a piece. I'm sure I've missed something so if you've got a take, let me know. To me thing just boiled down to the fact that the Ghostbusters rock out guns. Also, the fact that what they do is called bustin' (bustin' makes me feel good!) - that's good times.