Trick or Twitter - Weekly Twitter Round Up

Posted by Wheezy

Well, semi-weekly anyway. Sorry for missing last week.

I've had a few people ask me to clarify the ol' round up, so just so we're all on the same page here:

These are links that have found their way to me via Twitter throughout the week (or weeks) which I found interesting enough to share on Immediate Regret. The verbage and image used in the Round Up are provided by me. I'm not directly quoting the tweets from which the link originated, just sharing the link.

Ok, enough of that.

From pvponline

You don't even NEED pencils to draw anymore. Of course adolescent boys in snow covered regions have known this for years.

From rohlich

8 years later, beer commercials become wholly depressing.

From admohr

admohr brings us the brave tale of a woman who risked her life saving her poodle from Bambi. No that's not a euphemism.

From wesleyzero

The reputable British news source "The Sun" breaks the story of extraterrestrial life before anybody else. Where were ya on that one O'Reilly?

From stolee

Have we tried glasses on hair up? Kitty branches out to the world of commercials.

From RossAM

More evidence that Google is taking over the world. Yahoo's yodeling slogan heard from a distant third.

From kevinrose

More evidence that Apple is losing its grip on reality. No Opera in the iPhone App store.

From Risk

And in true Halloween spirit. Either this kid's parents are awesome or he (she?) is super-mega-awesome.

Happy Halloween everybody.

College Football Picks: On Vacation [11/1/08]

Posted by Double M & ADMohr




This is the 8th installment where ADMohr (of ADMohr twitter fame) and I bet guess who wins against the spread of some intriguing college football games of the weekend. As always, he'll focus on football and I'll focus on other stuff. If you want/need more description, see original post.

I'm still hanging out in Austin, TX (although I am driving to Norman today) so my responses are going to be 160 characters or less (text message style). Here are the results from last week:



ADMohr: Pre-picks note of the week: I just wanted to do my duty and let the world of the internet know that the game of the week this week is actually on Friday night - I'm talking about tonight's Wofford (#3) at Appalachian State (#2) Halloween matchup. Take the admohr seal-of-approval on this one, as I solemnly swear this will be an unbelievable game. Wofford comes into Boone averaging 350 yards/game on the ground alone. The Terriers actually had the South Carolina Gamecocks against the ropes late in the 4th quarter, down only 3 before the Gamecocks were able to lead a long drive that put away the game. Meanwhile, Jerry Moore's Mountaineers are somewhat notorious for showing up in Big Games, having won three National Championships in a row and of course they played a competitive game in Ann Arbor with the incredible Armanti Edwards a year ago. (Side funny youtube note from last year's National Championship game against Joe Flacco's Delaware). Anyways your game notes are this - the Winner takes the lead in the ultra-competitive SoCon and likely wraps up a playoff spot, and is one step closer to having pivotal playoff home games. Boone is an impossible place to escape with a win in a big game, and the App Defense seems to be improving after weak performances earlier in the year, but they're going to have to be near-flawless to shut down the unstoppable attack of the Wofford offense. Meanwhile App will rely on playmakers Armanti Edwards and Coco Hillary to diversify the offense through the air while having substantially depleted tailback play, and be forced to score with efficiency while keeping the Terriers off the field. And now, back to your regularly scheduled picks:

Miami (+2) @ Virginia 11:00 AM ESPN-GP

ADMohr: So which one of these initially-overrated and now underrated teams will prove to again be overrated? The Cavs have had one of the most uneven seasons you've ever seen, while at least Miami's losses have at least been predictable. We're going to let it ride on the Cavs and say that they 're going to win and cover in this one.

MM: The winner of this game will likely win the ACC. Both teams suck. Do Not Watch. Virginia wins/covers.

West Virginia (-4) @ Connecticut 11:00 AM ESPN-GP

ADMohr: You may wonder why you need to care about the game. The answer is that the winner of this game takes over first place in the Big East - and that's right - the odds increase that much more that you'll be seeing one of these teams in a Fox Bowl game. West Virginia wins and covers here as last week seems to indicate that the Mountaineers may have turned it around.

MM: The Big East is the only conference worse than the ACC. Awful game. West Virginia wins/covers. Thank God it isn't on national coverage.

Northwestern (+7.5) @ Minnesota 11:00 AM ESPN2

ADMohr: Minnesota, while at best may be looking at 3rd in the Big Ten, it deserves to be noticed how far they've turned it around this year. From a team that lost at home to FCS North Dakota State - and it wasn't considered an upset - to a team that has one loss on the year, I mean I'm just saying it's something to appreciate. I think they'll cover the 7.5 against Northwestern who dropped to Indiana last week.

MM: At the beginning of the season, if you told me this game would have been the Big 10 game on ESPN2, I would have laughed. Big 10 sucks, Minnesota wins/covers.

Tulsa (-7) @ Arkansas 1:00 PM ESPN

ADMohr: Tulsa averaging a grand total of 601 yards total offense a game. Who even cares who the opponents were - that's just an awesome thing to say out loud right there. Tulsa wins and covers.

MM: Tulsa is trying to bust the BCS along with a bazillion other teams in shitty conferences that don't want to play the big boys except in bowl games anymore. Tulsa wins/covers.

Oregon (+3) @ California 2:30 PM ABC

ADMohr: This is the game for 2nd place in the Pac-10, and to suggest that there's some significant distance between 1st and 2nd is probably the understatement of the college football season. The Ducks continue to churn things on the ground, putting up ridiculous rushing totals (see 300+ vs. Arizona State). Looks like the Ducks win and beat the spread in this one.

MM: Oregon put a beat down on the Shockers last week and do the same again this week beating the spread and winning the game.

Florida State (+2.5) @ Georgia Tech 2:30 PM ABC

ADMohr: This game could be a preview of the ACC Championship game later this year, although to be honest at this point there are about 16 different ways this conference could shape out, so don't lose too much sleep about this matchup just yet. Florida State has had generally solid defensive play all season long, while the Yellow Jackets ran into the buzzsaw that is the Virginia Cavaliers last week. It looks like the Seminoles may have things figured out though, and they're going to absolutely need it looking at the remainder of their schedule (Clemson, BC, @Maryland, @Florida). Seminoles win and beat the spread.

MM: Georgia Tech probably lost the ACC last week but should be able to beat a mediocre FSU team that is only ranked b/c they are FSU. GT wins/covers.

Florida (-6.5) vs. Georgia 2:30 PM CBS

ADMohr: The world's biggest cocktail party this year will feature two teams who will sit around and talk about who did a better job of humiliating LSU this year. These teams are rolling as Knowshon @ the rest didn't even flinch in controlling the outcome in Baton Rouge, and meanwhile Florida just destroyed Kentucky last week. A red flag for the Dogs might be how they gave up almost 500 yards to LSU last week, and the Gators bring the unstoppable balance of the strong running game and strong passing game. I keep picking against Georgia and they keep winning, so let's see how many times I can be wrong. Gators win and cover the spread.

MM: Cocktails. Hot chicks. Football. Florida has been thinking about this game since last year. Florida wins/covers.

TCU (-14) @ UNLV 7:00 PM CBSC

ADMohr: Oh snap, mixing things up Mountain West style. What happened to UNLV, they were looking like an underrated team earlier in the year, and they've conveniently dropped 4 straight. The Rebels are quite susceptible to the run, and the Frogs are absolutely rolling on the ground right now, so this one should never be in question. Frogs win and cover the spread.

MM: BCS Buster! TCU (our only loss is against a legit team, take us seriously. please?) wins/covers.

Texas (-3) @ Texas Tech 7:00 PM ABC

ADMohr: This isn't the game of the week, only because Texas can only be the game of the week so many times a year, and we still have a month to go. Each passing week we've said "this might actually be the hardest test for the Horns" and each week, we're probably actually right. While I think last week's OSU cowboys are a more complete team, this one takes the Longhorns away from home for the first time in a while - and let's be completely serious, at some point this schedule has to catch up with them - right? Meanwhile The Fightin' Pirates look like a totally different team than the week squad we saw over the first half of the year. The Rebels are about to unleash their own hell-stretch of a schedule (OSU, @OU) and while their defense made some headlines last week, I think they're going to be humiliated at home this week. Longhorns win and cover.

MM: Game of the week. Tech thinks they can beat Texas but they forget they almost lost to Nebraska at home and let A&M hang with them. Also, Kansas sucks balls. Texas covers/wins large/beats down Tech (sending them into a losing spiral).

Nebraska (+22) @ Oklahoma 7:00 PM ESPN

ADMohr: I legitimately feel that Callahan's throat-slash the last time these teams met (regular season) was one of the greatest things I've ever seen, and as a Nebraska fan it'd personally mean a lot to me if Bo came out calling these fans hillbillies and throat slashing all the way. Nebraska has meanwhile shored a few things up defensively, and the fact that NU was able to put away Baylor in the second half of last week's game honestly says a lot about progress this year. I still think the Huskers are liable to get scorched in this one, but I think this one has more to do with OU defensive weakness than anything else, so I think we look for teh Huskers to beat the spread but lose in this one.

MM: 4 years ago, the line was Nebraska (+30) in Norman (Nebraska covered by running the triple option and then kicking a last second field goal and Callahan throat slashed some refs/players). If nothing else, Vegas thinks Nebraska has gotten better since then. Oklahoma wins/covers.

BONUS MM Pick
Pittsburgh (+4.5) @ Notre Dame 1:30 PM NBC
I just wanted to pick this because I felt like it was the most insightful pick of the week

MM: The Wannstache gets some food caught in his Wannstache pregame that distracts Fatty Weis all game long distracting him from coaching his team. Pitt beats the spread/wins.

Here's the chart.



Happy Halloween and have a great weekend.

Bafflement: Reach Out and Touch Hilary Duff

Posted by MajorLB





I need to preface this post by saying I've always had a special place in my heart for Hilary Duff. I have no clue why. I just can't help myself I guess.

Her movies are bad but cute. Her music is generally on the same level, although I kinda enjoyed some of the songs on her last album. She also got decently hot somewhere in there. However, I am currently baffled. I can't decide what to think about her new video:

Hilary Duff - Reach Out - Official Music Video Premiere

Some shots she's attractive, some shots everything is disproportionate. She's obviously trying to change her image, which is fine, but I really am not about the lawn statue. I actually liked the longer dark hair, but the shorter style is good for going back to blonde but I wish she would have done her roots.

As for the music, I was mostly distracted by the video. The "reach out and touch me" bit sorta makes me think of an 80s song. Like Pat Benatar or something. I think it will get some radio play, but not sure how much. I'm definitely interested in the rest of this album. Wait, what? This is gonna be on a Best Of Hilary Duff album? Please tell me you're going to include songs from Metamorphosis...

What do you think of this new "sexy" Hilary Duff? Should I have tagged this post with the ever popular "bad music videos" tag? Have you lost all respect for my music taste? Tell me in the comments!

5 Minute Fix: Japanese Tug-O-War

Posted by Double M



Anyone who followed my old site knows I have a minor obsession with the craziness that comes out of Japan. I don't know why, but the TV executives out there come up with some of the craziest ideas. The Human Tetris show that is on FOX now is one example and there was also this ridiculous marshmallow game.

Well, they are at it again with a crazy version of Tug-O-War.

H/T: Arbroath

Unemployment for Dummies

Posted by Ross

It's not as easy as it looks, but I can help

How many of you have ever said "Man, I wish I didn't have to go to work today, life would be so great if I didn't have this crummy job." Well let me tell you, being unemployed is no walk in the park. Except for yesterday, when I got up early, it must have been about 9 a.m. and I took my dogs to the park, that was literally a walk in the park. But I'm speaking in the figurative sense here. But fear not, I can help guide you on how to not have a job. In recent months the dismal economy has caused this field some fast growth, but don't be scared by the growing competition out there. I can show you this is as easy as the first cave man who decided to sit his ass down on his rock and eat his neighbors wooly mammoth.

Just look at the cover of this book to get your creative juices flowing for what you might do in your free time. Don't get too creative however, because remember- we're unemployed bums leaching off society here. If you were on the Family Fued and Al Borland asked you things you do while you're unemployed survey says the #1 answer is drink. Everyone knows that, but with my guide I'll show you how much more you can do without being a contributing member of society. You can do things like play video games, watch movies, watch judge shows on daytime tv, creep out your neighbors... as you can see the list goes on and on. Think that all sounds too good to be true? We're just scratching the surface of what you can do while enjoying being a miserable failure. The real gems and secrets are in the pages of my handy guide. It doesn't come naturally though, there's a lot of skills you have to learn first.

One very important tool of the tradeless that people overlook is deflection. You have to keep loved ones, bill collectors, and maybe even law enforcement off your back about why you haven't gone out and gotten your broke ass a job. Like not even something simple anyone can do to tide you over until you find a job you really like. A little word of advice between you and me, these nay sayers will never have the chops to live the kingly lifestyle you'll be enjoying from the ultimate throne (your couch). That's just for starters though, in the advanced chapter I discuss more important tactics like procrastination.

If there was a unemployed analogue to Batman instead of reaching for his trusty bat grapling hook all the time, this jobless wonder would think about reaching into his utilty belt and whipping out his procrastination gun. Except this super hero is so good instead of relying on toys he doesn't even need it. It's more like he has the innate abilites of the Superman of not working. Ooh, that's better I gotta go back and change that comparison. I've mastered this skill that it's taken me months to write up this simple ad for my book. In fact this one is so important I'm going to go into a little more... aww screw it [note to publisher, fix this up and really sell this point].

If you're mouth isn't watering yet at the prospect of the unemployed lifestyle just think of all the wonderful food you'll be eating like ramen, rice, potatoes and about-to-expire-ham sandwiches on discount white bread. That doesn't quite do it for you??? Did I mention you'll be drinking a lot of Kool-Aid?! By this point your beginning to see the life that can lie ahead of you. When you wake up tomorrow, remind yourself- you can do this. Wake up, walk in to work, tell your boss where to stick and pick up my guide on your way home from not work. Or go have a beer, whatever, you're the boss now!

[Update] Guitar Hero: World Tour Rant

Posted by Royalcow




Right now I should be playing Guitar Hero: World Tour. I did some earlier this evening, but you can only get so frustrated before you throw a drum stick through a TV. And I like my TV. No I wasn't playing on Hard, but rather trying to play at all. At this point I only wish it were my lack of skill that was the problem.

I seem to be one of many that have been rewarded for purchasing GH:WT on the launch date with a faulty drum set. Specifically on my set, the red pad and the left cymbal don't always work well (at least that's how it started) and the touch bar on the guitar seems a bit wonky. After playing some on Sunday I just figured that I mostly sucked at drums. But after reading Kotaku I realized that I might actually be better than I thought and it was the hardware that was the problem. I put this to the test on Monday and sure enough I was hitting the pads but it didn't register all the time. Oh and the left cymbal cut out (which I could fix by unplugging and plugging the connector cable). So I switched to guitar and felt much better about myself.

Today, I get more updates on the issue (via Kotaku again) and realize that I might be better off just returning the damn thing and seeing if I can exchange the set. After wasting a lunch driving around to Best Buy trying to find a full Xbox 360 band kit in stock I resign myself to trying this mystical tape solution that I've read so much about. Well, now my red pad works much better (which likely points to a sensitivity issue) but my left cymbal has deteriorated to the point where it no longer recognizes any but earth-shattering hits. I switched cymbals only to find that I still had an non-functioning left cymbal. Awesome, now I can't get through a song on Medium because of my drum set.

So I would urge the would be Guitar Hero: World Tour buyer to wait. Maybe by Thanksgiving they will have their manufacturing process in order. Now I know there are a lot of people out there with completely working sets, but there are also widespread reports of all three systems having problems. Oh and PS3 owners forget about trying to use the GH drums with Rock Band 2.

I would like to close this rant with a message to Activision and Red Octane. You should have learned an important lesson after watching Harmonix and EA take a beating over the quality control issues with their hardware. Hopefully there will be resolution soon. If not, well, there's always Rock Band.

Update: Tech support thinks this is a sensitivity issue (duh) and that the tuning software should fix it. Unfortunately, they now need to send me a USB to MIDI connector. Who knows how long that will take?

Maybe Lolcats will make me feel better. Oh who am I kidding of course they will!

Classic Batman: Still Awesome

Posted by Double M




The old school Batman is one of the best shows ever made. Growing up, my brother and I were enthralled by the crazy plot lines. Now, I can watch it and laugh at how ridiculous it was. For instance, here's one of the most watched scenes from that show - Batman vs. a Shark.

Here's another ridiculous scene with Batman running around with an over-sized "bomb."

Good times. Of course, there were plenty of other good clips from the show (you can find them all over the Intermist). Why the post then? Because I saw a clip that I didn't remember from the show, and it's awesome. It is a clip of Batman having a conversation with Bruce Wayne.

There are so many funny things in that clip. Why wouldn't the commissioner and the police chief just have Batman call Bruce Wayne? How did the commissioner hear what Batman and Bruce were saying? Did anyone else notice that Batman/Bruce almost got into a handski match about how much the city trusts Batman? Good times.

Immediate Regret Draft: Dinosaurs

Many of you may have noticed the new banner (well done Wheezy) and wondered what dinosaurs might mean for Immediate Regret. Well, as shown in the title of this post, it's time for another draft.

I moderated the draft, because not enough of you people voted for me in the last IR Draft. Basically that means I just got the arduous task of writing the draft up for this post. I did however have to make a decision detailed in someone's pick. Feel free to let me know in the comments if you think it was a bad decision.

Also, since I couldn't participate we brought in a guest drafter whom I believe suggested the topic in the first place. If you like what he had to say you can follow Guest Ben on twitter.


The rules of the draft go like this:

- Snaking order, which means if you draft first in the first round, you draft last in the last round (the order is randomly determined)

- 3 rounds

- Each pick contains a brief description of why the pick was taken

- You all vote on who had the best draft

The order is as follows:
Ross
Andy
DWheezy
Guest Ben
MM

ROUND ONE

1) ROSS

Spinosaurus

You know what that little guy in blue is saying? No he's not saying uh-oh here comes a Tyrannosaurus Rex, king of the dinosaurs, nor is he worried about the Gigantosaurus that is approaching. He's saying "HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT'S A SPINOSAURUS!" The biggest carnivorous dinosaur EVER.

This is a SPINOSAURUS, not a Gigantosaurus


2) ANDY

Velociraptors

I'm going to have to go with Velociraptor here. Specifically the Jurassic Park variety. Pack hunters who are as smart as dolphins with razor sharp teeth and claws, not to mention the one middle claw specifically for disembowelment. I present to you the smartest deadliest dinosaur of them all.



3) D Wheezy

Utahraptor

For my first pick in the Immediate Regret Dinosaur draft I pick...

John McCain.

ZING!

Just kidding.


Well so far we have the biggest dinosaur ever known, and then one of the smartest (according to fiction writer Michael Crichton) ever known (also, technically, the raptors used in Speilberg's film version of Jurassic Park were the Deinonychus - no, I didn't have to wiki that information (SUB PARENTHESIS - Michael Crichton doesn't believe in global warming, by the way)).

So why don't we go ahead and combine the two? I give you - the largest of the 'Raptor' family - the UTAHRAPTOR.




Not only was this the largest and most badass of all the raptors, but he's got a fantastic and quirky sense of humor - as portrayed in Dinosaur Comics



See? That guy is as big as a T-Rex. AND a Raptor. Can't beat that.


4) Guest Ben

Pterodactyl

I'm going to go ahead and pick a PTERODACTYL. These things were the first flying dinosaurs which basically means they could never be caught or killed. They could just swoop in and get whateva the fuck they wanted.


also they may still be alive. which makes them doubly badass

5) MM

T-Rex

With the 5th pick of the draft, I select the Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Seriously, how did you guys let the T-Rex fall all the way to the 5th pick? Honestly, you guys just game me the draft. If we were playing Family Feud, and the question was "Name a dinosaur," T-Rex would have 75 or more of the 100 responses. People love the T-Rex. He's like the Kobe Bryant of dinosaurs - everybody hates the T-Rex unless he was on your team. Ross, no one would look up and say "Oh shit, here comes a spinosaurus!", they'd say "I have no clue what that is, but it can't be as bad as a f-ing t-rex!". The T-Rex is the premiere dinosaur and I can't believe I got him at the 5th pick. Here's a good video of a T-Rex.

ROUND TWO

6) MM

Denver the Last Dinosaur
For the first pick of the 2nd round, I pick Denver the Last Dinosaur.

I already have the most bad ass dinosaur with the T-Rex and now I've got a dinosaur that wears sunglasses, skateboards, plays electric guitar, and can time travel and take me with him. This pick is a no-brainer.

[Moderator note - If you're gonna watch any video in the draft, please watch this one]

7) GUEST BEN

Pachycephalosaurus





i did a report about these guys in 6th grade and it ruled. they head butt. like rams. I actually found the report on the internet. check it out


8) D Wheezy

T-Rex from Dino Riders

For my next pick I choose the T-Rex from the series "Dino-Riders"

BOOYA!
This guy has mechanized front claw, armor plating, two turrent stations with laser cannons. I mean -I see like... 12 lasers from this one angle alone. And is that an effin' CIRCULAR SAW ON HIS SHIN!! COME ON!

Here's the commercial for this oh so sweet toy creation.

Here's an action video. 5:00 minute mark.


9) ANDY

Quetzalcoatlus

Ok after a lot of deliberation on the subject I came up with the perfect pick. Seriously you guys are all going to be in trouble... Or you were going to be in trouble since my pick was denied by our lovely moderator. My pick was going to be Godzilla. I will let that sink in a bit. There are several story lines that place Godzilla firmly in the dinosaur category, but awakened and mutated by atomic bombs and nuclear testing. Alas if I could only use this pick.

Luckily I had a back up. Instead I will choose Quetzalcoatlus. Since I didn't get to pick Pterodactyl I thought I would go with the largest flying animal of all time. This bad boy had a wingspan of around 40 ft. Check this out:



So while I don't think its as good as Godzilla, I think Quetzalcoatlus will do just fine.


10) ROSS

Anklyosaurus

I gotta admit Godzilla would have been impossible to top. I'm going to allow Josh from Second Grade is Cool to announce my next pick:

"The Anklyosaurus is the greatest armored dinosaur. Millions of years ago Anklyosaurus ruled the Earth. Anklyosaurus had a bony back, was larger than an elephant, and was long and spikey. It was related to Amotosaurs and the Sauroplites. The dinosaurs lived during the Cretaceous Period and lived in the high land, among hills, and valleys. There were no forests, just bushes and a few trees and cool weather. Anklyosaurus was a herbivore, it ate soft plants with its dull teeth. This is the life of the great armored Anklyosaurus."



Well put Josh. Although you forgot to mention it's clubbed tail that it can kill a T-Rex with. MM, I almost felt bad for you that my Ankylosaurus most likely fatally wounded your T-Rex in this video. Those poor motherless T-Rex babies. Then I thought wait, you broke rule numero uno: Don't fuck with Ankylosaurus!

PS- I'd like to outfit him with the Dino Rider Cross Bow

MM: Don't worry, Ross. Me, the T-Rex, and Denver would just time travel back in time and crush your Ankylosaurus' egg. That's the power of having a dinosaur that can time travel bitches.

Ross: -If you and Denver travel back and time and crush my ancestors egg you risk never being born! You even risk the internet never being created!

MM: Also, I'm fairly certain that if I traveled back in time, I would then become distinct from the time line and even if I am never born in the new timeline, I would still exist as the person who came back and caused the time disruption, so that's cool.

ROUND THREE

11) ROSS

Rapticon
For my final pick I choose Rapticon.



Rapticon is a Dinobot from the Transformer Universe who is a guerrilla combat specialist. What more could you ask for than a Dinobot that the Transformers Wiki calls "big, strong, fast, and really smart?"


12) ANDY

Triceratops

Well I'm gonna have to go with one of my favorites here and draft Triceratops. You really can't beat one of the most recognizable dinosaurs out there. Who didn't at one point wish they had giant horns to charge at people with?



I know I did.

13) D Wheezy

Stegosaurus

For my final pick in the IR Dinosaur Draft, I just the unstoppable: STEGOSAURUS.

Need proof? The veritable encyclopedia of dinosaur knowledge, "Jurassic Fight Club" has a game that proves my very point.

TURF WARS

Go there. Choose Stegosaurus. Hit "Z" over and over again. You'll win.

Not only does it's armor plating protect it from any of the piddling dinosaurs that have been picked in this draft (with the exception of the 12+ laser circular saw toting Dino Rider T Rex) but it's got effin' KNIVES made of bone on its tail that could skewer the toughest of dinosaur skin.

Not only that... but Spike was clearly the coolest of the dinosaurs in "The Land Before Time". He didn't get down with any of that petty bush league drama that the rest of the dinos were all about (looking at you Sarah). He just wanted to get his grub on. And who can't relate to that.




For clarification - my pick is Stegosaurus. Not Spike. Just citing him as an example of the awesome-ness inherent to Stegs.

By the way, my score on "Turf Wars" was 303,400. Feel free to try and beat me.

14) GUEST BEN

Dino

my last pick in my first IR draft is Dino from the Flintstones.

He is a snorkasaurus.

The good thing about Dino is he may be the most loyal pet ever. Do your pets jump and run you down when you get home? Can he carry your baby around? Plus, I'm pretty sure he can understand english.


15) MM

Yoshi

Anyway, with the last pick of the draft I select Yoshi.

Who doesn't love Yoshi? You can ride around on him, he can eat you and poop you out into an egg, turn into a giant egg and roll around, change colors, throw giant eggs, makes funny noises, and he's got a bunch of cool video games.

SUMMARY

Ross: Spinosaurus, Anklyosaurus, Rapticon
Andy: Velociraptors, Quetzalcoatlus, Triceratops
DWheezy: Utahrapto, T-Rex on Dino Riders, Stegosaurus
Ben: Pterodactyl, Pachycephalosaurus, Dino
MM: T-Rex, Denver the Last Dinosaur, Yoshi

SNL Partial Recap: Jon Hamm is Don Draper

Posted by Double M




You may or may not know who Jon Hamm is depending on whether or not you watch Mad Men (It's the new in show! Everyone watch it and get an opinion! Buy the DVDs!). I've heard Mad Men is really good, but, let's be honest, I'm in no position to add new TV shows because too many good ones are coming back in the spring (24, Lost, plus something else I can't think of right now. Plus the NBA gets serious...to much good stuff), so I haven't watched Mad Men at all. That said, Jon Hamm seemed pretty funny. Here's a couple of skits from SNL this week that featured only Hamm (which is something SNL can only do with a decent actor).

The first is Jon Hamm's John Ham.

At first I didn't laugh at that skit, but when I saw the ham roll in the bathroom I lost it.

The second skit is John Hamm is a set of campaign ads for a man named Pat Finger running for City Council in Butts, NY. You can tell where this is going already, but it was executed very well and made me laugh.

Usually, at this point, I'd give you a breakdown of all the skits on SNL, but, as I said yesterday I'm out of town and haven't gotten to watch it all yet. I did watch the 7 clips on Hulu and the 2 best ones are above. I'm worn out on political humor and even though it feels like SNL may have taken their first shot at Obama ever this week (meaning it would be the first new political joke they've tried since the first Sarah Palin skit), I've lost the desire to hear it and only moderately laugh. Top it off with the fact that the digital short (shown below) wasn't really funny and it turns out to be a mediocre episode with a few bright moments. When I get back home if I find any other good skits that aren't on Hulu, I'll put them in a 5 Minute Fix per the usual (apparently there is a funny Trick-or-Treat Sex Offender video out there somewhere). Anyway, here's the digital short, Ras Trent.

The only other clip that's been getting play is Dom Draper's Guide to Picking Up Women. This was ok, but I also don't watch Mad Men, so perhaps this is really funny and I just don't know his character.

I was going to end the post here, but I have to say that annoying/awful Maya Rudolph made a cameo/is back on SNL. I hope its just a one-time thing. If she's going to play Michelle Obama, it's almost reason enough in itself to vote for McCain.

Manliness for Your Monday

Posted by Double M




Hey everybody - I'm on vacation this week so no SNL review for now (if it's any consolation, I heard it was awful). I'll watch the stuff from Hulu and try to get some of that up.

Anyway, there should be a draft up sometime today, but in the meantime, in celebration of finding out that I'm having a boy, here are a couple of testosterone filled videos for you.

The first is a compilation of commercials for Eclipse gum featuring El Puma. Warning: they are in Spanish (but you don't need to understand the language to laugh at the commercials). The dog waving in the first one still has me laughing.

The second features a Disney's Tarzan action figure. It's 12 seconds long and you will immediately laugh.

Have a good week.

!Es Un Chico!

Posted by Double M




For those of you that don't know, Shorty is pregnant. I'm not sure how this happened but apparently it did. Anyway, yesterday, we found out that we are having a boy.

I feel like now that I know I am having a boy, I can start connecting with him more. For instance, now I know that I should go buy a baseball glove and not a softball glove and that I should begin learning how to throw a left-handed knuckle ball so I can teach my son. Also, apparently now you can read to your baby before they are born. This seems a little weird to me (you can actually buy microphones for those sort of thing), so I'll probably just stick with picking out some good music for now.

Of course, picking out new music gets easier because Guitar Hero 4 comes out on Sunday. Speaking of GH4, here's an awesome commercial for it.

Ya, that's a good Risky Business reference (although it's been done by Scrubs and Saved by the Bell as well). Well done, GH4.

Thanks to everyone for the good wishes and I I'll keep you posted as I make the leap into actual responsibility.

SNL Thursday Recap: Jam the Vote!

Posted by Double M





SNL Thursday Weekend Update was on again last night (you can watch it here - thanks Hulu). I watched it after I watched It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and The Office so it didn't seem too funny for the most part. There, were 3 skits as always, and only one of them had me really laughing.

SNL opened with Will Ferrell cameoing as George Bush. He does a pretty good impression, and the skit was funny but it was 7 minutes of pretty much the same joke. It was good and worth seeing just to remember Will Ferrell's George Bush impression (a pick in the IR Will Ferrel Character Draft last month).

After the Will Ferrell open, it was a mediocre Weekend Update that included Fred Armisen jacking around with a touch screen (which was kinda funny if you have watched CNN this election season, but, again, got long) and an awful Keenan "Fix It!" skit (yeah, that thing again).

Seriously, they brought that back? The first time I blamed the writers, but this time I'm blaming Keenan. The audience isn't laughing and it doesn't help that he can't deliver his lines without cracking a smile. I would say Keenan is a poor man's Horatio Sanz, but that's not even true - he's the a homeless man that can't get into the shelter, so he steals another homeless man's cardboard box but doesn't realize that the box has some sort of sticky substance keeping it stuck to the side of the alley and so it rips so all he has now is half of a cardboard box. So he's a homeless man's homeless man's Horatio Sanz.

Fortunately, SNL really made me laugh with the Andy Samberg digital short "Jam the Vote."

That skit made it all better. Plus he puked on Keenan, which, after the "Fix It!" skit made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

College Football Pic...Oh My God, is that Kirk Herbstreit? [10/25/08]

Posted by Double M & ADMohr




This is the 7th installment where ADMohr (of ADMohr twitter fame) and I bet guess who wins against the spread of some intriguing college football games of the weekend. As always, he'll focus on football and I'll focus on other stuff. If you want/need more description, see original post.

This afternoon I am driving to Austin, TX. Unfortunately, I'm not heading to the Texas-Oklahoma State game (although if it was a night game, I'd consider it - Texas fans are awesome), I'm just heading to Texas for a vacation to visit my family and some friends. As such, I'm going to miss some of the early games Saturday. You would think this would put me at a disadvantage picking games going forward, but it turns out that when I just pick based on ridiculousness, I pick a lot better. See, here are the results from last week:



See, much better for me. As such, I'm just going to include randomness today as well.

ADMohr: You know who I haven't hated this year? Kirk Herbstreit, and generally I always hate the guy. In the past I always thought he used his position in the media to further the interests of his home conference, but I think the Big Ten being so bad in the past couple of years has removed that bias from his main talking points. And to boot the other reasons we hated him – his bashing of Nebraska during the 'greatest teams' segment, his picking '94 Penn State (and '05 USC) over '95 Nebraska in HIS greatest teams, etc. - well even those examples are a few years old now. (And to be honest, I feel like he's been pretty complimentary of Nebraska fans the last couple of years. See: His incredibly overstating how many Nebraska fans remained in the 4th Quarter of the USC game). So Kirk, I still hate you, just not really right now. In that spirit, I'm going to pick each of this week's games the way that Kirk Herbstreit does – cite a player that somehow exemplifies an entire team or even game, make the pick and move on. Next week we'll do it Lee Corso style by stating "Not as close as the experts think" for every game and then picking half of the games to be decided by a field goal.



Boise State (-7.5) @ San Jose State Friday 8:00 PM ESPN2

ADMohr: Boise Redshirt Freshman Quarterback Kellen Moore is leading a dominating offense this year that averages 421 total yards a game. He'll be facing a fired up environment and a solid San Jose State team but look for the two headed tailback attack of Jeremy Avery and Ian Johnson to carry Boise's offense on the road as they win and cover the spread.

MM: It's a Friday game! Oh sweet, Jesus, what is happening? It only took Mohr and I 7 weeks to figure out that we could pick the Friday night game. Tell you what, we sure are a couple of smart hombres. Did you know that Nebraska played SJSU earlier in the year. Nebraska isn't great, but they won by more than 7 points (it was 23 to be exact). I have no clue how good Boise State is, but I would assume that they are better than 7.5 points on the road against a crappy SJSU team. Boise State wins and covers. Now, in unrelated news, here is a video that you all should enjoy.

Boston College (+3) @ North Carolina 11:00 AM ESPN GP

ADMohr: All B.C. Coach Jeff Jagodzinski has done is gone 5 -1 with a respectable loss to Georgia Tech and they find themselves underdogs on the road in Chapel Hill against Butch Davis's crew that dropped to Virginia last week. Look for the B.C. Defense lead by linebacker Mark Herzlich to continue to set the tone for this strong defensive team and pull out of Chapel Hill with a win.

MM: The ACC is the most boring conference to talk about. In the Big East, at least you can talk about people getting fired/underachieving/having big mustaches. The ACC is just mediocre, and, really, just a big crap shoot. You don't know whether BC, which put in a solid effort last week, is going to f- it up this week or continue rolling. I have no clue what to pick. I guess I'll go with BC since I didn't pick them last week. BC beats the spread and wins outright.

Texas Tech (+1.5) @ Kansas 11:00 AM ESPN

ADMohr: A battle of two of the Big 12's 2nd class of quarterbacks in Graham Harrell and Todd Reesing square off in an expected offensive showcase with KU putting up 491 yards offense on KU while getting torched for 674 yards. Look for one or two possessions to make the difference in this game, and I think Graham Harrell and Michael Crabtree will take advantage of a KU turnover and that should be enough for Tech to prevail with a win and beating the spread.

MM: Remember that Kansas thought train last week? Yeah, that was gross. I just wanted to make you think about it again. Kansas is somehow favored in this game. This is probably due to the fact that Mangino can deuce in peace in the beautiful city of Lawrence. Unfortunately for Kansas, even a relaxed Mangino can't help his team beat the wonder that is Mike Leach. Tech beats the spread and wins outright. Now, here's a random video of Mike Leach.

Baylor (+11) @ Nebraska 11:30 AM Versus

ADMohr: Baylor Freshman quarterback Robert Griffin is leading a young Baylor offense that is slowly making some believers down in Waco despite playing in the brutal Big 12 South. The Huskers have turned their season around but remain vulnerable against a team that can beat them on the ground and in the air, and look for Griffin to get his first big win on the road in Lincoln in the first of what could be a very exciting career.

MM: The word is that Nebraska figured their offense out on the last drive of the Missouri game. I don't know whether I believe them, but they have played better the past 2 weeks. Also, the last time Baylor came to Nebraska, Joe Dailey set the single game passing record - Joe Dailey! As such, I think Nebraska wins and covers. Nebraska will implode if they drop this one. In other news - in case you haven't seen this - Iowa State goes overboard with the fog machine for their intro. Last week against Nebraska, a player ran into the goal post. This isn't that video, but it gives you a good idea of how that could happen.

Oklahoma State (+12) @ Texas 2:30 PM ABC

ADMohr: It is hard to find reasons to pick against a Texas defense that has successfully shut down two of the most dominant offenses in the country in consecutive weeks, lead by Defensive End Brian Orakpo and a resurgent Texas rushing game from Chris Ogbonnaya. The difference the Longhorns are going to find this week is the commitment of the Cowboy rushing game lead by QB Zac Robinson and RB Kendall Hunter, and look for Texas to face an inevitable letdown. The Longhorns win this one, but the Cowboys will beat the spread.

MM: Game of the week. Check this: Oklahoma State wears orange. Texas wears orange. There's going to be a lot of orange in the stadium. Did you know that Oklahoma State looks to the sideline before every offensive play to get adjustments? How much you want to bet they get confused with all of that orange. Texas wins and covers (even with the big spread) - they haven't scored less than 38 points this year, so you have to score to keep up and I think Texas' defense is good enough to stop OK State 2-3 times (enough to cover). Plus, Colt McCoy is dreamy.

Georgia (+2) @ LSU 2:30 PM LSU 2:30 PM CBS

ADMohr: Both teams are coming off of big wins against strong SEC defenses, but LSU's win in Columbia was arguably the most impressive with their backs against the wall in a revenge game following a humiliating defeat at the hands of Tebow, Percy Harvin and the rest. (Ed.-- Florida is the new USC for Herbie, btw). This game will be a battle of which quarterback is going to make a play to win the game while which tailback is going to carry his team late in the game to clinch a win. Keiland Williams and Charles Scott lead the charge for the Bayou Bengals and I think they win this game due to it being at home and a resurgent Tiger defense that will keep Matt Stafford uncomfortable all game. LSU wins and covers the spread.

MM: At the beginning of the year when everyone was jocking Georgia, they said this would be one of the biggest obstacles for each team to overcome and the winner would probably make the BCS championship. Then both teams lost. Nice. LSU seems like the pick in this one, because they should win by at least a field goal at home. LSU wins and covers.

Alabama (-6.5) @ Tennessee 6:45 PM ESPN

ADMohr: Nick Saban has preached to his team all year that the key to surviving the regular season in the SEC is by a commitment to running the ball and by playing strong defense that will keep the team in games when the offense is struggling. Defensive tackle Terrence Cody is the heart and soul of this defense and he's out this week and the Alabama rushing game seems to be losing steam after making the statement of the year in Athens. Nick Stephens has revitalized the Vols' offense and most importantly the underrated Tennessee defense is going to be the key to making Alabama one-dimensional and pulling off the upset. Tennessee wins and beats the spread.

MM: Apparently Alabama hates Tennessee. I'll let this hombre tell you about it.

I hate pumpkins too my friend. It will be a good year for that guy as Bama should roll Tennessee (don't forget they suck) covering the spread and winning.

Penn State (-2.5) @ Ohio State 7:00 PM ABC

ADMohr:
Fowler: Kirk you can't pick the game because you're calling it tonight, but what are the keys to this game.

Crowd: Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Kirk: Well the key to this game lies entirely in the Buckeye offense which exploded in East Lansing last week. Beanie Wells averaged 4.5 yards a carry and Terrelle Pryor averaged 6.0 yards a carry, if they can do this tonight against a tight Nittany Lion defense that has only yielded 100 yards a game on the ground, then the Buckeyes will control the time of possession and be able to keep up with Daryll Clark and Evan Royster who have torched defenses all year long and will find the end zone tonight.

Crowd: Wooooooooooooooooo signs signs signs signs signs signs signs signs signs

Lee: GIMME THAT (Puts on Buckeye band hat)

Crowd: Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Lee: (Throws hat off, picks up Lion head and pulls on and does ridiculous forward/backward hand-wave for the next two minutes) YEAH YEAH YEAH

Crowd: Booooooooooooo booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Fowler and Kirk: (Laughing hysterically, patting Lee on shoulders and mask)

Fowler: We'll see you later tonight let's send it out to Pam Ward and a Big Ten game you don't care about but will watch anyways because it's the only thing on this and ESPN2 for the next three hours.

(Penn State wins and covers the spread).

MM: I have a feeling that the only way Joe Pa will ever retire is if he wins another national championship. So, if you want Joe Pa to retire, you should root for Penn State in this one. If you want to see a crappy Big 10 team (OSU) potentially make the national championship game again, root for OSU. Penn State has answered pretty much every challenge up to this point - what's to think they won't do it now. Penn State wins and covers.

Oregon (-3) @ Arizona State

ADMohr: Ducks QB Jeremiah Masoli ran for 170 yards last week leading a grinding run game for the Ducks that shouldn't have any problem controlling the pace of the game in Tempe this week. Rudy Carpenter is not healthy and the Sun Devils will continue to struggle in conference without a balanced offense. Oregon wins and covers the spread.

MM: The Pac-10 is like a playground. Everyone out there is having fun, pretty much doing whatever they want until the big bad bully USC shows up. Fortunately for the 2 teams in this game, neither team is USC. ASU has lost 4 straight and is going to lose it's fifth to team Nike. Oregon wins and covers (do you know that ASU was ranked earlier in the year? Craziness). Want another random video? Here's one about farting (with some bonus curse words, FYI).

USC (-15.5) @ Arizona 9:15 PM FSN

ADMohr: The Wildcats and Mike Stoops have surprised everyone this year with their performance and their win against California has the Cats 1 win away from being bowl eligible and potentially in the running for the Rose Bowl if they can win a huge game at home with USC coming to town. The Arizona running backs Keola Antolin and Nic Grigsby are setting the tone for success for this Arizona team with Willie Tuitama proving the ability to go up top and beat defenses long. The USC defense will be tested like it was in Corvallis earlier this season, and I expect USC to win this game but Arizona should be capable of beating this spread.

MM: Remember that bully I talked about? Arizona's about to take their beating from that bully. Arizona has been playing well this year, but it seems that every few weeks (and every year) they slip up. If they have any slip ups against USC, they lose big. USC, meanwhile, seems to be the sleeping giant that was woken up by the Oregon State loss. USC wins/covers/maintains their place as top dog in the playground. Let's be honest, you're still a little shocked by that farting video aren't you...

That's the picks for the weekend. Here's the chart:


Have a good weekend.

5 Minute Fix: Pillow Talk

Posted by Ross

It's Friday folks.  I wanted to give you something funny to get you going.  The video is 2:13, so you've got 2:47 to read these few sentences and admire Dan's redition of Coco, aka my avatar.




I also really like A Monologue to Thee, but some people hate it.  They've got a website too.

P.S. I wanted to share I love Veronica Mars.  Half way through season 2.

P.P.S. Safe for Work.  Some might consider the audio a littles distasteful.

5 Minute Fix: Batman and Superman

Posted by Royalcow

I really like Batman, but Superman always annoyed me. He really only has three weaknesses (magic and psychics are the others if you didn't know) and can do way too much. I mean who needs heat vision, flying, super strength, and x-ray vision. In any case I thought this video was funny (via The Movie Blog).