Hockey Meets Soccer

Posted by MajorLB


Double M isn't the only one that gets to post sports clips:

The closest I've ever come to playing hockey is playing broomball, but you wear tennis shoes on the ice so I can't even imagine. I mean I can ice skate, as long as we're going in counter-clockwise circles.

Fail Blog Fails

Posted by Ross

The following is an experiment I will try to keep going.  I don't subscribe to fail blog, but every once in a while something pops up in my reader from them.  It's often funny, but when it's a video it's frustrating because it's a youtube clip and it's not embedded.  Clicking through isn't really a hassle, but it's completely unnecessary.  So go here and add that blog to your reader if you want the fail blog videos in your reader.  The first installment is a video that you already saw posted here, that I found to be particularly unfunny, because when I feel a video is obviously staged, it loses its humor.  

This is really nothing more than an attempt at punishment to failblog since they fail at proper usage of an rss feed.

More Watchmen Links and Videos

Posted by Royalcow



Hey there hop ons. We are nearing in on the actual release date for the Watchmen movie and I am starting to get excited. I'm rereading the comic and trying to watch as much of the pre-release stuff as possible. If you follow my Google Reader share (which you should be) there is a lot of material out there about the movie already, so I thought I would share some of that with you.

First maybe you don't want to read the comic, then you should check out the Watchmen Motion Comics site that has animated and voiced over the comics for you (kinda, check the Amazon free preview). But with 12 chapters at 2 bucks each, your probably better off buying the book.

So if you have been following the Watchmen movie at all you might have heard about the mixup between Fox and Warner Brothers for the rights to make the movie. The case went to court and luckily didn't result in the movie being delayed.

Here is the first (and nerdiest) video for you guys describing some of the science behind Dr. Manhattan. If you like physics (and who doesn't) this should be fairly interesting.

Here is a collection of clips from the movie and then linked below the official Watchmen Countdown Widget.

Flavor Flav's Under One Roof

Posted by Double M




I will admit this to you: I used to watch The Flavor of Love. I have no clue why - in real life I would not want to watch a beaten-down-from-coke-plus-other-drugs-and-really-really-bad-hookers 50+ year-old-man make out with a self-esteemless 20-30-something whore (most-hyphens-ever). But VH1 would make me want to watch crazy ass people rock an even-more-fake-than-the-Bachelor show about "falling in love." Or, as VH1 sells it, having the best sex while on the show.

In any case, last week while I was in my hotel in New York, I stumbled across a show featuring Flavor Flav on MyNetwork TV. I have never heard of this show or this network, but here's the intro.

Sadly, there are no real clips from this show online, so I can't share any of the awesomeness awfulness that is this show. That said, if you want to laugh and cringe a little more, you can go check out the official website.

PSA: Free Subs

Posted by Ross



As a man who loves sandwiches, I must share this with my readers.  Free subs from Quiznos.  Get in on it while it lasts  Of course you're being put on their marketing list, but it's totally worth it if you ask me.

TSOL: And Boom Goes the Dynamite

Posted by Double M



I don't know if you watched whatever awards show was on last night (I can never remember which one is which), but this happened and it was awesome.

Does anyone know how old Will Smith is? He looks the same as he did 10 years ago.

Hunting Gollum

Posted by Royalcow



As a huge fan of the Lord of the Rings books and movies, I was excited to hear that Guillermo del Toro is directing The Hobbit. Apparently it is being filmed as two movies as prequels to the Lord of the Rings (obviously). This much you probably already know.

I don't know about you but 2012 is way too long to wait, so if you want to get your Tolkien movie fix early check the video out below. The following trailer is for a fan made movie that will be released for free on the web at TheHuntforGollum.com on May 3rd.

Thanks /Film!

TSOL: You Can't Use Your Arms in Soccer

Posted by Double M



First, the video:

I'm not sure what the guy (dad?) in the background says, but I'm pretty sure its something like: "You can't use your arms in soccer."

H/T: Arbroath

Gold Spandex Pants

Posted by MajorLB

I know this is not new and may have even made an appearance on this very blog previously, but it's in my head and I'm purging it by sharing with you.

Do not want, but I can't tear my eyes away!

Ernie Hudson Really Putting Those Ghostbusters Residuals to Good Use

Posted by Double M




You may know Ernie Hudson from such films as Ghostbusters and, uhhh, Ghostbusters 2 (he's been in a lot of stuff just none of it that memorable to me). Well, it looks like Ernie is putting his Ghostbusters' residuals to use.

H/T: Everything Is Terrible

Life Rules: Interstate Driving

Posted by Double M




I'm going to level with you - I'm smarter than the average person. Way smarter. This doesn't mean I know everything, but I feel that in an average situation I'm probably better off than most of the other people out there. And the reason I'm better off is because I have this set of guidelines that I follow. So, over the next few weeks, I'm going to try to bottle some of this knowledge up into a few posts and share them with you in a little series called Life Rules.

Disclaimer: The views of this do not necessarily reflect those of the other authors on this site.

Today's life rules post covers something that most of you have been doing since you were 15 (or younger) - driving. In particular, I want to focus on interstate or highway driving. It seems to me that, other than airline travel, there are more idiots per person than anywhere else. So it makes sense that the first set of rules is for you, the interstate driver.

1) You are not the only driver on the road (unless you are driving between the hours of 3-5 am, then you may very well be the only driver on the road).

This rule is pretty self-explanatory but is the basis of driving. You are not the only driver on the road and alert drivers will adjust their driving according to what other drivers do. This means that everything you do will affect other drivers.

I'm not going to spend a lot of time on this because you'll see it play out a lot over the list. That said, if you take one thing away from this post, please make it this.

2) Do not get into the fast lane if you cannot: a) drive at least 5 mph over the speed limit and b) drive faster than the car behind you

These kinds of people are my least favorite people on the road (which is why this drops in at to rule #2). Let me paint a picture for you: I'm cruising at 7-8 over in the fast lane, no issues whatsoever. Then, all-of-a-sudden, some douchebag gets over from the slow lane to pass someone going slower. Sadly, this douche gets in the fast lane and drives the speed limit, slowly passing the person in the slow lane. This, of course, causes a backup of traffic in the fast lane until the d-bag gets waaaaaaay past the person in the fast lane and traffic speeds back up.

Look, I know it sucks to be in the slow lane behind someone going 5 under, but if you aren't willing to go at least 5 over (trust me, 99% of the time you won't get a ticket for this), do not get into the fast lane. If you are going to get over, look back in the fast lane (not just in your immediate vicinity) and see if someone in the fast lane is going to catch up to you while you're passing. If that is the case, wait or speed up.

3) Avoid use of your brakes

As soon as I turned 15, my dad was excited because I could start driving on family road trips. One of the first things he told me was that the interstate is not a place for brakes. Instead, you should try keeping spacing and slow down but letting off the gas. Look, sometimes you'll have to use your brakes (and please do so then), but if you tap your brakes, then the guy behind you taps his brakes a little longer and the guy behind him a little longer than that, and so on and so on. It causes major, usually unnecessary slow downs in traffic. Why did you push your brakes? Oh, you thought you might be going to fast? F. You.

This rule is especially true on ice. Think about it: you are going 55-80 mph and your tires aren't more than likely aren't touching the asphalt because of that super-slick stuff under your tires called ice. If there is ice on the road and you do more than tap your brakes, you will slide. Then you are going to wreck. This is a fact. Learn to keep spacing and slow down without using your brakes.

4) Sweet Jesus, don't slow down/gawk for accidents on the other side of the road, in the shoulder, etc.

I read a book along the way about crowd tendencies and one of the chapters focused on interstate traffic jams that are caused by nothing. And it described the situation like this: there is a car wreck in the median with no impact on either side of the road. Unfortunately, this will cause a traffic jam because each car will slow down approximately 10-20 mph to gawk at the accident which gives each car 10 seconds instead of 2 seconds to look at the crash. Well, the 15 mph slow down actually turns out to be 1-2 mph more for each car (see above) until about 15-20 cars back you are looking at a 40-50 mph slow down, or what basically amounts to crawling on the interstate. Over about 50 cars (which is not all that many cars on the interstate) you can bring the interstate to a stand-still, all because you wanted to stare at the car that harmlessly drove off into the median.

This rule, maybe more than any other, shows the impact that you have on other drivers. You see this all the time on the interstate or in big cities. The next time you're unexpectedly slowed down, and then, for no reason, get back up to full speed, you can thank the 30-100 cars in front of you for needlessly wasting a your time.

5) "Get the hell out of my way"

This is a statement I have said/yelled/mumbled under my breath many times on the interstate. Here's a tip for you that some people apparently don't know: If you are going slow in the fast lane, cars will tailgate your ass - this means they want to go faster than you are currently going. You can either speed up or get the hell out of the way (if you are going 5 try increasing to 7-8 over, wait for the next big opening and get over). Do Not Tap You Brakes (see rule #3) unless you want to be in an accident.

6) Drive the same speed

Interstate driving should be a breeze. Set your cruise control to whatever speed you want and weave in-and-out of traffic all the way to your destination. What's that? You don't have cruise control? That's ok, just drive right about the same mph and we'll be OK.

Unfortunately, because of Mr. I'm going to go 10 over and then I'm going to go 10 under for no apparent reason, interstate driving is not that easy. This past December when driving to Austin, for about an hour there was one guy like this that really annoyed me. I passed him because he was going about 5 under. Next thing I know, he is riding my ass. Following rule #5, I got out of the way and let him fly by me going about 15 over. Suddenly, I caught up to him and then passed him because he slowed down to about 5 under. Within about 30 seconds he was riding my ass again. This repeated again and again. I wanted to kill the guy all because he was rocking a 20 mph difference. That one hour portion of the drive was awful and could have all been saved if he rocked the same speed limit.

7) If I'm trying to pass you, let me pass you

This guy is the ugly step-sister to rule #6. You know the guy - you're trying to pass them and all of a sudden they speed up and prevent you from passing them. Dear guy, why does it matter if you are getting passed? You were clearly fine driving at the speed you were driving. Why does it matter to you that you are getting passed? Regards, Double M

Interstate driving is not about pride (well, for me it is kinda) and getting passed should not affect your pride. If someone is trying to pass you, let them pass you. If you want to speed up, let them go by and then jump in the lane behind them. That way, you get up to the speed you want pretty quickly and you don't come across like a poop bucket.

8) Don't slow down on interstate turns

You don't need to slow down on interstate turns (unless there is a lot of ice). I know this could be pooled in with rule #3, but I feel like this is something that needs to be clarified. Interstate turns are made to handle the speed you are driving. This means you do not need to slow down on those turns. There is nothing more frustrating than sitting through a massive slow down because people wanted to slow down to 50 mph for a slight bend in the road.

If you are one of those people that slows down on the curves, next time you get to a curve don't touch your brakes. Just steer through the turn. Trust me you'll be ok.

9) Merge at the speed of the road

You know why there are always traffic jams at interstate on-ramps? Because people tend to merge 20-40 miles below the actual speed limit. This makes slow drivers want to pass so they get in the fast lane which slows down the fast people which in turn causes a cluterf-ck (mainly because people start using their brakes which leads us to rules 3 and 4). Most of this could be resolved by people merging at the speed of the road so that the people on the interstate don't have to brakes. So, step on the gas and get up to speed - that is what the on-ramp is for.

10) You can pass multiple cars at one time on a two-lane highway.

I know I have focused mostly on interstate driving, but most of the rules can be applied in one way or another to highway driving as well. There is nothing worse than being trapped behind 3-4 tightly packed cars that are going under or right at the speed limit. Instead of being scared to pass them and driving grossly under the speed limit, drop back a little bit, wait for an opening, grow a pair of nuts, and kick your car up to 15 mph over the speed limit. You'll be able to pass all of the cars in one shot and relieve the stress of driving under the speed limit. The same rule can apply to the interstate if you get over and another driver comes up behind you - just kick up your speed and get over when you've passed the cars.

That's it for the first installment of the life rules. If everyone followed these 10 simple rules, our life would be a whole lot better (and we'd probably shave 10-20 minutes off of long interstate drive times). Side note: I know I focused mainly on the interstate, but a lot of these rules can be applied to general driving as well.

Got any extra rules I missed? Let me know in the comments.

The author is not responsible for any resulting life issues taken from following any advice in the life rules

Update: I changed breaks to brakes in the few instances where I made a mistake to appease the first commenter and my own ocd ways

Pretend You Saw It: Alec Baldwin Was There But The Writers Took The Night Off

Posted by Double M






If you couldn't tell from my excessively long title, Alec Baldwin was the guest host this week on SNL. I don't know if you watched it all, but there were 2 repeat skits (both from this season!), 4 recurring character skits that weren't funny, and overall a poor show. I feel like the writers just took the night off. As such, I'm going to take a shortcut on my recap. So, hold on to your hats because we're gonna fly through this one.

Dan Ackroyd's return appearance/cameo was wasted on a unfunny Republican party open.

Next, there was a long monologue (and 30 Rock hat tip) featuring Jack McBriar.

After that there was the first appearance by the Jonas Brothers (imagine your best 10-14 year old girl scream here) where Baldwin tries to be the 4th Baldwin. FYI, this was the first time I chuckled all night.

Then there was a Cameron Diaz cameo in a Cougar Den recurring skit appearance.

Then, a digital short featuring the Jonas brothers as an 80's hair band. It was mediocre but I haven't shown a video yet, so here's one.

Next, Keenan came out and advertised his Sir Mix-A-Lot's Photoshop. From now on, I will not show a skit featuring Keenan unless he does something more than read his cue cards.

Then, the Jonas Brothers performed. At this point I hadn't really laughed, so I spent the entire performance trying to figure out which Jonas Brother I hated more considering I knew nothing about any of them.

Weekend Update was up next, and while funny, it wasn't great. Keenan came out as that guy who yells Fix It a lot with a new phrase Do It!. This hasn't gotten funnier. There was a brief Angelina Jolie cameo (same thing as the other week) and a fake blogger joke that has been run into the ground by about 5000000000000 people. Apparently someone at SNL just decided to borrow it for the week. SNL finished out with a Joaquin Phoenix joke (Mark my words: in about a year he's going to come back and say "The joke's on you, this was for a movie. I'm like the new Borat!") which was funny.

Next, there was a non-funny Bill Hader recurring character in a skit Vincent Price's Valentine's Day Special. Not on Hulu. Not Funny.

This episode was so bad that the writers found a way to make the fart face guys not funny in a skit where fart face says Carol Hold My Calls a lot.

Jonas Brother part 2 almost knocked me out for the night. I rebounded though for the best skit of the night featuring a Nintendo Wii and Wario Shake. I won't tell you anything about it, but this was easily the best skit of the night.

The episode was down to the end and dropped a couple of repeat skits with Chewable Pampers and Virgania Horsen's Hot Air Balloon Rides.

The final skit of the night was Alec Baldwin's Acting Techniques for Actors. Not on Hulu, so you know the deal.

And that's it, you can click the links to the skits if you want, but it wasn't really funny. SNL is on repeat next week, so maybe I'll get to an old episode.

Shaq Diesel & the JabbaWockeeZ [NBA All-Star Game]

Posted by Double M




The best all-star game of all the professional sports was on last night. It is the kind of game I that even non-NBA fans usually enjoy because of the crazy stuff that happens in the 2 and a half quarters until it gets to be serious basketball for the last 18 minutes or so.

Anyway, one of the highlights of last night's game was Shaq's intro into the game.

In the game itself, Shaq may have had the best play as well.

What you can't see in that clip is that Dwight Howard, the guy guarding Shaq, was talking trash and then immediately started laughing once Shaq bounced the ball between his legs. If I find the high-res version I'll post it because it is worth the watch. UPDATE: I have posted the high res version.

...Only in The Association's All-Star game.

SNL Recap Update: Bradley Cooper's Monologue

Posted by Double M




I said in my post yesterday that the opening monologue was funnier than some of the other skits. Well, Videogum (who comes through a lot in these kinds of situations) came through with the video. It is below. But I didn't want to waste a whole post on this video. So, before you check out the video below, check out the Hulu splash screen for SNL.



Look how mad Andy Samberg is that Keenan's head is on his shoulder. It's like he knows the funny is being sucked out of him into a black hole of non-funnyousity.

Fact: That picture of Keenan is the third funniest thing he has ever done.

Anyway, here's the monologue. Hope you enjoy.

What the Stimulus Package Looks Like

Posted by Ross

I debated putting some sort of crude joke image here, but decided to just stick with the pretty pictures I found.  I'm not offering any sort of commentary here about what I think about the money being spent.  I'm totally unqualified to assess what the economic impact of this all will be, I just think it's important that you know where your money is going.  You'll need to biggify these and take a closer look.  

Image credit: creditloan.com

The Washington Post has, what I believe, is a more up to date image:

5 Minute Fix: Relaxation Tips

Posted by Double M



You know how some days just seem stress-filled? Well, I know just the person to help out with some stress relief and to help you relax.

I will try to bring some of OJ's techniques into work today. I'll let you decide which ones.

H/T: Everything Is Terrible

Pretend You Saw It: That Douche from Wedding Crashers on SNL

Posted by Double M



Well, I didn't get any extra SNL's done last week and I'm behind on this week, so it is a great start to this come back (but, hey, readership is higher than ever, so maybe I need to stop doing these all together).

Anyway, Bradley Cooper was the host this week. Don't recognize the name do you? Yeah, me either. As it turns out, Bradley Cooper was the d-bag dating/engaged to Rachel McAdams (pictured, right, because she's hotter than Bradley Cooper) in Wedding Crashers. He's also cameod in such films as Failure to Launch (which is a great movie to see Matthew McConaughey's dreamy chest) and in last week's box office #1 He's Just Not That Into You. So, now that you know who he is, I can get on with the recap.

The show opened with a political skit from Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid. Yay politics! I know SNL almost always opens with politics, but the problem with politics is that it is pretty much not funny. If you want to watch a skit about the buyout and complaining about republicans, go here.

Bradley Cooper came out next for the opening monologue. I can only assume he's hosting this week because the 49+ other more credible stars from the movie were unavailable. That said, the monologue was actually kinda funny. Cooper apparently went to the Actors Studio from the TV series, Inside the Actors Studio and has been featured several times in the audience. To be honest, I wish they would have scrapped the opening skit and gone with the monologue on Hulu.

Following the monologue, they rolled out a NBC News skit making fun of Kathy Lee Gifford. The only time I have ever seen any part of this show has been on The Soup. I have a feeling this skit captured the magic of the show. Unfortunately, the magic was really annoying to me. Maybe you'll like it - you can check it out here.

The next skit was a game show called "I'm Gonna Have Sex with Your Wife." It was kinda funny although there was a lot of dead time. If you want to burn 5 minutes on a skit where the punch line is told in the first 3 seconds, then here's the link.

Next was a digital short from the Lonely Island crew. I'm going to take a moment here to point you to a link where you can hear pretty much the entire cd: Hulu. Turns out the cd is funny, but it is comprised of about 75% digital shorts (or the music from them) which you can check out on Hulu. I've added the feed above so you can catch the rest of the songs which will invariably come out as digital shorts in the future. Anyway, here's this week's digital short (and also a song on the cd) called "I'm On a Boat" which made me laugh several times.

Next thing you know, they had that recurring skit where Hader, Forte, Sudeikis, and the generic male host admit embarrassing things from their life which are always horribly inappropriate. These skits are generic but usually really funny. Unfortunately, because of their terribly inappropriate nature (this one included a 12-year-old boy joke), they never make it to Hulu - which is really sad considering this may have been the funniest "skit" of the week.

The musical guest was TV on the Radio which features a guy that has a fro hair/beard combo that is thick enough on both ends of his head that I'm pretty sure you could switch the fro and the beard and no one would know. They also sounded like a drunk Dave Matthews cover band at times which made me laugh.

Next up was Weekend Update. I had heard that Seth Meyers finally settled into the doing Weekend Update by himself this week so I was exited to see it. He didn't disappoint. Meyers moved smoothly from joke to joke for the first time in a while which was nice to see.

Weekend Update would be nothing without "guests," and the first one this week was Mark Spitz (the former Olympic medal record holder) played by Andy Samberg. This made me laugh a few times, but it was probably, mostly the mustache.

Next, Keenan showed up as James Harrison (the guy from the Steelers that had the 100-yard TAINT in the Super Bowl). I'm fairly certain this was Keenan's best acting job ever.

I'm ashamed to admit that I laughed multiple times in this skit. Well played, Keenan. That's twice this year you've made me laugh. If only you could tell a joke without smiling.

Even though Amy is gone, Seth Meyers decided to bring out the Really?!? skit about sponsors "punishing" Michael Phelps. I've shared my thoughts on Really previously (I don't like it), but the line at the end of this is awesome so I've included the video.

The last cameo was Kristen Wiig as Bjork. She does a great impression of Bjork, but the skit just wasn't that funny. You can check it out here.

Next was a hockey locker room skit featuring a nervous kid. This isn't on Hulu, but be happy because it basically is a poor ripoff of a shitty Mad TV skit featuring a character named Stuart. The skit sucked.

After a commercial, there was a skit called Bad Guys, Good Conversation, a talk show featuring movie bad guys Hanz Gruber from Die Hard, the chick from Basic Instinct, Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs and Johnny Lawrence from Karate Kid. The first 3:30 weren't really funny, but the last minute was, so I've embedded that below.

The second to last skit was a skit about an alcohol intervention where some of the attendees keep interrupting. It was kind of clever, but it was funny, and didn't make it to Hulu. If this skit had been on Mad TV, it would have been one of their highlights. Perhaps some of the writers from Mad TV came over to SNL?

After another performance by TV on the Radio, SNL dropped a Christian Bale selling a DVD featuring celebrity on-set rants. It seems like more and more this season, they've been using this last slot as a current event skit that they don't want to lead with. That said, I'm fairly certain this skit was just a way to publicly test some of their celebrity impressions.

All-in-all, this was not really a great episode. It had some decent moments, but for the most part was worth skipping. Next week, however, is Alec Baldwin, so you can expect a great show (I'll just ignore that the Jonas brothers are the musical guest).

Concert Review: Tyrone Wells

Posted by MajorLB

I'm pretty sure I promised (via twitter) a review of the Tyrone Wells show I went to on Friday by Sunday, but I'm lazy and flew to Vegas instead. So here it is now.

Friday Meiko and Tyrone Wells played at Neumo's. Keaton Simons played before Meiko, but I missed it. I actually wish I'd seen him because he came out and played guitar with Tyrone for two songs and rocked it.

Meiko
She came out by herself and just sang and played guitars. She has a quirky sense of humor and I'd be interested to hear what she would say at a 21+ show because she kept pointing out that she had to be careful since it was an all ages show. Of course most of the time when she went out of her way to be clean it really just highlighted the potential dirtiness. For instance, chiming in with "emotionally" after talking about going real, real deep at the end of Real Real Sweet.

Overall she was very likable southern girl and even took requests. Considering her self released CD skyrocketed on iTunes, I think she'll be around for awhile and this song is certainly stuck in my head.

Tyrone Wells

Best Intro Song Ever(at 1:30 mark) for coming on stage.

Neumo's was packed and overall I was impressed with his performance. I'd listened to his CDs before and it's pretty chill stuff but he's a powerful live performer. I think it took him about 2 songs to hit his stride, but then he was completely in the music. He plays guitar as well, but is backed by a band which made for a much fuller sound. However some of the best effects the band had was when they would stop playing, like in the middle of the emotional More (which plays in Intervention promos) and it was just his voice.

He played old favs, a bunch of his new stuff off Remain, and some covers including Cranberries Zombie. And while he kept them brief, he's also a great storyteller complete with voices and quite the facial animation.

Sidenote reasons to check out Tyrone Wells:
1. He does not actually look like Ralph Fiennes playing Voldemort as the Hold On album cover suggests.
2. Gives due props to Hanson. "Those guys have come a long way from MmmmBop.Seriously." I realize that I will still constantly be made fun of for my love for Hanson, but still I appreciated this.
3. I'm not sure to pity or envy a guy who had never heard Beyonce's Single Ladies until very recently when some band on Rock Boat was doing a cover and called him up to sing along.

Make Any Webpage Less Sucky

Posted by Ross

I give you two options to test out here at Immediate Regret (which I hope you think does not suck).  Just click below.

For the remaining small percentage of the world not pleased with ninjas, unicorns or rainbows; click the following link to be sated. LINK

Why I Liked Fanboys

Posted by Royalcow



I feel lucky to live in a place like Austin where we never seem to miss a limited release movie. Especially the good ones. This weekend a little movie called Fanboys was released and wouldn't you know it Austin (the downtown Alamo Draft House in fact) was on the list. Here are the limited release cities if you are interested.

• Austin, TX (1 screen)
• Chicago, IL (3 screens)
• Houston, TX (3 screens)
• Los Angeles, CA (10 screens)
• New York, NY (10 screens)
• Philadelphia, PA (5 screens)
• San Francisco, CA (6 screens)
• Seattle, WA (3 screens)

And here's the preview:

This movie has a good cast, as you can see from the trailer, lots of cameos by admitted geeks, and of course Kristen Bell (see right). You wouldn't know it from the trailer but she plays a fairly large part in the movie. In general, I don't think that the trailer represents the actual movie, but the cameo list at the end is great.

The plot synopsis on IMDB is "Star Wars fans travel to Skywalker Ranch to steal an early copy of Episode I: The Phantom Menace," which if you watched the trailer or heard anything about the movie you already know, but what the press for this movie hasn't really shown is what really makes this movie funny: the attention to detail. There are a lot of nerdy type references from the 90s, and of course a lot about Star Wars, that really make the movie fun to watch. We had a bunch of Star Wars nerds that went together and really enjoyed ourselves and I would place this movie firmly in the good bad movie category (think Army of Darkness for another example). Now whether or not they meant it to is certainly up for debate.

If you have seen the original trilogy, liked the movies (forget all about the second trilogy if you can), and are somewhat nerdy then you should see this movie. There's no crap after credits, but it's worth the time.

Enjoy!

Immediate Regret is for sale

Posted by Ross

I haven't checked with the others, but I bet they'd gladly take a cut of Stimator's estimation of the value of our site.  I'm not really sure how they justify this, but they say we are worth over $4,000.

EDIT:  Hmmm, the html code they give you doesn't even work.  This site can't be reliable.  We must be worth much much more.

Eric Devendorf Loves Poop

Posted by Double M



I know I said I was OOO, but this was too good not to post.

Do you know who Eric Devendorf is? Me either, but here is is picture:



Well, apparently the man loves poop:

Ok, so that doesn't say he loves poop, but he "smells deuces!" That is awesome.

H/T: Awful Announcing

REMIX!!!!!: 99 Problems

Posted by Double M




You all know how much I love hip-hop and one of the best and worst parts of hip-hop is the excessive number of remixes. If there's a decent rap song, you can count on it being remixed, sometimes for the better a lot of time for the worse.

So, know this, if I'm brining you a remix its because it is really special. This is one of those times. This is a remix of Jay-Z's 99 Problems.

FYI, I'm OOO until next week so I'll be leaving the rest of Thursday and Friday to everyone else.

More TSOL

Posted by Ross

I love the thirty seconds or less idea.  I guess these don't really need explanation.  All but the second vid drops the F bomb.

World's Largest Skijoring Race

Posted by Ross

First thing is first, you are probably wondering wtf is skijoring. Basically it's dog sledding, but instead of a sled you are on cross country skis. On Saturday Minneapolis held the 4th annual City of Lakes Loppet. (pronounced lope et, or maybe lope pet). One of the events was skijoring.  Even though I've taken my dogs skijoring before, I didn't participate, as I didn't want to buy the necessary safety equipment (a quick release incase you fall and need to let the dogs loose).  My buddy John formed an all-star team with his dog Tigger, and my dog Mario.  Coco can't quite keep up, so she was a spectator.  Most people raced with one dog, and two is the limit.  

This was the world's largest Skijor race with over 100 registrants. I think last year's race with 67 may have previously been the largest race. Not a very popular event, but still very fun. There was a pretty large turnout of spectators as well. The entire city was buzzing as 40 degrees and sunny is the best weather we've seen in a while. It was a perfect day out today. Here's the lake about a half hour before the event.

John and the dogs:

His Yellow Lab, Tigger:

My dog, Mario:

The start:

The best part of the race to watch was the final 90 degree turn, that had a short, but steep incline. Quite a few wipe outs, a few distracted dogs, and at one point a muskrat wandered on to the course. He was shooed off into the crowd. There were a lot of dogs with the onlookers as well, so that little rodent created quite a stir.  John, Tigger and Mario finished in just under 15 miuntes, coming in 36th.  The race is 3 miles, so that's over 12 MPH.  So, you might say John is the 36th best skijorer in the world.

It was a great day to be out there. There was also some sort of bike race happening on Lake Calhoun, as well as a ton of kite boarders out there. Dogs pulling skiers, kites pulling boarders and bikers in the snow. All things you don't typically see.

What is TSOL?

Posted by Double M




I know a few some most of you don't really watch The Association (that's the NBA) as much as I do, but allow me to educate you to something. The Phoenix Suns ran a new style of offense a couple of years ago called "Seven Seconds or Less" or SSOL. Basically, the thought was to get a decent shot up in under 7 seconds from the time they got the ball. Obviously, this was a lot of fun to watch because it led to lots of fast breaking, big dunks, and game-changing 3's, but it also had an unanticipated effect on the NBA - it made slow teams like the Spurs seem really, really slow. Basically, if you weren't a fan of the Spurs (or Pistons, or another team like them) and you had the choice between the Spurs and the Suns, you'd probably prefer to watch the Suns.

What does this have to do with IR? Well, as you all know already, I watch a lot of videos on the mist. What you probably don't know is that I suffer wickedly from ADD, and, as such, I have the attention span of the 4-year-old. If a YouTube video comes in at over 5 minutes and I don't know what I'm getting into, its probably going to just get skipped. I'll wait for someone else to tell me to watch it (and if no one does, then I'm probably not missing much).

On the flip-side, one of my favorite things when I open an webernet video is when I see the time is 30 seconds or less because I know that the good stuff is coming right away. Here's a prime example we've all seen.

Awesome, right? And all in 5 seconds.

So, in keeping with the theme of Seven Seconds or Less, I'm going to be bringing you videos that I've (sporadically) found and enjoy that fit into the Thirty Seconds or Less (TSOL) time frame*.

So, here's your first installment. The first is a video from Super Bowl 43 (via KSK).

The second has a swear word, so headphone up before you watch this one. It's worth it though - trust me (via EDSBS).

Not today indeed.

Bonnaroo Lineup Announced

Posted by MajorLB

Two summers ago I was convinced to drive 14 hours to some music festival in BFE Tennessee. Bonnaroo ended up being a highlight of that summer and possibly my life. Last summer I was moving and I didn't know anyone else going and I wasn't that thrilled about the lineup. The 2009 lineup was just announced and I'm pretty freaking excited and want to go. Now I just need to convince some more people to go. Check out the initial lineup announcement video below.

For an easier look here's the lineup list. Every time I read that list I see more to be excited about. If I tried to list my favorites I would probably list 3/4 of the list. None of the "headliners" get my attention like Police did in 2007, but then again his concert wasn't that good anyway.

Tickets go on sale this Saturday. If I can work it out with vacation and logistics, I'll be there. Let me know if you're planning on going, what you think about the 2009 lineup, and share any crazy previous music festival stories in the comments or email me at majorlb@immediateregret.com.

Pretend You Saw It: Steve Martin on SNL in 2009 [SNL Recap]

Posted by Double M




I've missed a few SNL's (they're still on my DVR and I'll get to them someday), but I figured I get it these SNL recaps going again.


Steve Martin was the host on Saturday. I have no clue how many times he has hosted (and I'm too lazy to look it up), but I would assume he is top 3. Turns out he has hosted 15 times (he says this in the monologue) and it is the most all time (I looked it up). Anyway, Hulu went nutso and uploaded every funny skit (and a lot of not funny ones), so I've got all kinds of video for you today.

The show opened with a speech from Obama. He was trying to talk about the economy, but every time he started to talk about it, he diverted attention to the good tiems from his campaign. Pretty funny and I'm glad they are finding ways to make some jokes. The Biden stuff is pretty funny as well (although it could get Palin-style old if they aren't careful). Here's the clip.

Steve Martin's monologue was next and there was nothing memorable about it. I spent the entire time trying to figure out how old Steve Martin is. Does anyone know? He looks fairly young but he has to be getting up there.

As is typical of SNL, they jumped into a pre-filmed skit right after the monologue. It was called Chewable Pampers. It was gross and only kinda funny, but since it is topical for me and over-the-top I've included it below.

One of the crazy things SNL did this week was show MacGruber Pepsi commercial/skits during actual commercial breaks (genius by the ad people, but annoying for me trying to skip commercials on my DVR). You probably saw one of them during the Super Bowl, but there were actually 3 of them. Here's the first and probably the best because it features MacGyver.

The next skit was called Neil & Jean. I don't now how to describe it but its not really funny. Basically its a bunch of oblivious people that end up taking ecstasy. That sounds funnier than it actually is. You can see it here.

Next was an SNL Digital Short Laser Cats 4. When you're watching it, you knew it was coming from the moment Steve Martin walked in and asked if Lorne Michaels was busy. It was still funny (even with Keenan), although Laser Cats is always funnier when drinking.

Issues followed that up, which sadly featured Keenan (who, of course, just talks normal in his skits - I think he is just straight reading the cue cards). It was about people who wanted to come talk with a fake-social worker about mental issues they have but instead Keenan makes fun of their physical problems. It wasn't really funny, although they did put sagging man-boobs on Steve Martin which made me laugh. Again, Hulu went nuts and this somehow made it to our beloved site as well. Please don't click this link to watch it.

The second MacGruber Pepsi ad, Pepsuber 2 showed up next. This is the one from the Super Bowl, and at the risk of overloading you with commercials, here it is.

I'm not sure why, but they must not have had enough good skits (even with Steve Martin) to fill the time slots because they ran a generic Bernie Madoff skit next. Madoff was calling his friends to invite them to a Superbowl party (of course, none of them answered). I'm sure it was funny on paper. It wasn't funny in execution. Not on Hulu, you're not missing anything.

Again, I think the writers must be on some sort of Super Bowl vacation because the next skit was the female cast members professing their love for Steve Martin. Basically it was Steve treating them poorly and them singing songs to them. I don't know, maybe this was a running joke from his previous hosting experiences. Does anyone know? Again, not on Hulu and you aren't missing anything.

The third MacGruber ad was next. It made me laugh.

The musical guest was Jason Mraz. Seriously, where is the consonant between the M and the R in his last name? From now on, I'm calling him Mr. Az. Mr. Az's first song was the song that is on the radio about 400 bazillion times a day (it was seriously on all 3 pop stations at the same f-ing time yesterday when I was driving to work).

Seth Meyers was next, still kicking it solo on Weekend Update. It was the standard funny show and it featured 3 guest appearances.

First, there was a Blago skit that was funny and is included below.

Second, the new chick (I still don't know her name) did an Angelina Jolie impression. She didn't really sound like Angelina, but she looks kinda like her. You can see it here.

Third, there was a skit featuring NY governor David Paterson. It was funny, but probably funnier if you live in NY. The crowd loved it (but they were probably a heavy NY crowd which explained it). You can watch it here.

Going back to the skit, there was a skit with Steve Martin as a makeup salesman with an annoying wife. To be honest, Kristen Wiig's character annoyed me and I wanted to skip the skit, but I kept waiting for it to get funny. Sadly it did not. Not on Hulu for good reason.

Apparently, this appearance by Steve Martin wasn't just promoting his new movie (which looks awful), but he also pitched his new banjo cd (?). It was like having a 3rd musical skit in the episode, which was a waste. I guess when you've hosted 15 times you can do what you want. It didn't make me laugh but is on Hulu here if you want to waste 4:10.

The final skit of the night was called Forefathers of the Game. It featured an awesome Bill Hader voice over intro and was about a football player that used a gun on the field. It sounds kinda dumb, but it made me laugh.

The show closed with Jason Mraz and Colby Callie, who is way hotter than she should be for what she sings.

Honestly, it was just a mediocre show. There were some parts that made me laugh, but overall the MacGruber commercials may have been the highlight, which seems like a waste.

Super Bowl Trailer Madness

Posted by Double M




In case you don't know, the Super Bowl is today. And while I watch the game because I love football, I know that some of you only watch the Super Bowl for commercials (and you can get a pretty sweet preview of them from our boys at Dave & Thomas).

Here's the thing - there are a lot of commercials during the game so you may miss a couple (maybe even while you're switching over to the Puppy Bowl featuring one of my favorite all-time announcers, Harry Kalas), but there are two movie trailers that apparently will be previewing during the Super Bowl that you shouldn't miss.

First is the trailer for G.I. Joe. I have no clue whether this movie will be good or not, but the trailer looks pretty sweet.

The second trailer is for a movie that I know will be awesome (for numerous reasons, not the least of which is Megan Fox) - Transformers 2.

I don't really have anything to say about that one other than I'm very, very excited to see it.