Double M's Life Rules #16: Don't Yell at People for Mistakes

Posted by Double M




People in your life (including you) are going to mess up. How they react to those mistakes will make a huge impact on your life.

I learned in my life that there are certain things I can control - screw ups by other people isn't one of them.

People are going to mess up. They are going to forget to show up for a shift, or forget to email a customer, or say something stupid, or make a decision you don't agree with at all. And once they mess up, they'll come to you and apologize and. This is where you set the standard: Don't get sorry, get better.

If the person is apologizing to you, they already know they messed up. They don't need to hear things like "What were you thinking?" and "I can't believe you did that?" or "You're lucky I don't fire/break up with/ground you..." because they have already thought through most of the repercussions already. And if you try to use this stuff, it doesn't end up working anyway. Trust me, I have been yelled at like this for most of my life in one fashion or another. Eventually this stuff just gets tuned out.

Who are you helping by yelling at the person? Is it making them better? Probably not Is it making you feel better? Probably not Then why do it?

Instead of focusing on the bad (don't get sorry), focus on what we can do to prevent the problem from happening again and how to improve in the future (get better). Whether it is real life or work or your relationships or anything, if you spend your time trying to get better rather than dwelling on the negatives, you'll put yourself in a much better place and be a happier person.