Double M's Life Rules #20: Don't Randomly Bail on a Texting Chat

Posted by Double M




If you're texting back and forth with someone, suddenly no longer replying is like hanging up on them during a phone call.

I've told you before that I'd rather you text me than leave voicemails. Texting is definitely the best way to get in touch with me.

That said, if you are awful at responding at text messages I'd rather you not text me at all. It sucks when someone sends you a text that says "What are you doing? Want to hang out?" and then sets down their phone or puts it in their purse and doesn't respond for an hour. If I like you, chances are I just put my life on hold to hear what you're doing - especially if you said something like "Want to grab some dinner?" - and now you aren't going to get back to me in a reasonable time? Busch. League.

Even worse, someone that texts back and forth a few times and then just stops responding. Where the hell did you go? Did you just forget about our convo? I don't understand how you can go from getting back to me withing 30 seconds to not responding at all. Did you get hit by a tow truck? Did you drop your phone in a puddle? What happened?

Here's the deal: If you're in a texting battle, respond within 5 minutes or send a closed text (one that doesn't require response). People in general should be able to pick up on the signal that you are done texting.

There are exceptions, but in general, don't send an open ended text without being able to respond within a few minutes of getting the text reply from the other person.

Double M's Life Rules #19: Someone is Going to be Better at Whatever You're Doing than You Are

Posted by Double M



You are probably not the best at whatever you think you are the best at doing. Even if you are, you won't be forever.

In the 1990's Michael Jordan was the best basketball player. That means there are billions of people that were never as good as him, even though there are tons of people that were really, really good.

10 years post-retiremnt? Michael Jordan is not the best basketball player in the world. Prior to the 1990's MJ was really good but wasn't the best player in the NBA.

The point: Even if you are one of the best at what you do, there is probably someone that is better at that specific thing. Further, even if you are the best, chances are you won't be the best forever. At some point either your skills will falter or someone will come along with better skills (or both) and you will no longer be the best.

This means that you'll need to learn how to live life as "not the best". For an ultra-competitive person, this can be really hard and I've seen it cause drama.

For an non-sports example, look no further than honors programs in college. A good honors program only takes kids that are considered the best in high school. Suddenly, all of the "bests" are thrown together and only one of them can actually be the best. Some people, when they move from being the best to being the 3rd best or 10th best or almost last, freak out and end up washing out purely because they can't handle the fact that they aren't the best/smartest/biggest teacher's pet/etc.

All of this can be avoided if you simply understand that there is someone better than you out there and learn to live within that fact.

Disclaimer: This doesn't man you should just give up or that you should quit trying to improve yourself.

Double M's Life Rules #18: Your Girlfriend's Mom Should Like You

Posted by Double M




If your girlfriend's mom doesn't like you, the entirety of your relationship with this girl is not going to go well.

In most cases, Moms hold crazy weight over their kids, even when the kids are grown. You may not think this matters, but when it comes to girlfriends it matters a ton.

If your girlfriend's mom doesn't like you, she will do everything she can to make it hard for your relationship to make it. In high school, the curfew gets strict, family-only dinners become more frequent, and money to go to the movies or shopping suddenly dries up. Basically, nothing will be easy.

This stranglehold might loosen as the daughter gets older, but it can still bite you. When you get in a fight and your girlfriend calls her mom, guess what happens if her mom doesn't like you? You get a deuce dropped on you whether you were right or not.

I'm not saying you just need to run if the girl's mom doesn't like you, just that you need to put in some effort to make sure she does. Say the right things to her, be polite in her house, and don't give her any ammo - especially in the first few months - to not like you.

If after all that effort your girl's mom still doesn't like you, then know that you'll be fighting two (or more, depending on her sisters or friends) women everytime you get in a fight or have a disagreement over a simple decision. Then, unfortunately, you have to decide for youself whether it is worth it.

Double M's Life Rules #17: Never Pass Up a Free Opportunity to Pee

Posted by Double M



If someone is going to pee and you haven't taken the opportunity to relieve yourself in the near past, do it now.

When you're road tripping, it sucks to travel with the type of person that has to stop and pee every hour. Unfortunately, there isn't much that person can do - they have a small bladder and need to hit the bathroom.

What sucks worse than that person? The person that says "No, I don't need to pee" but suddenly needs to pee 15 minutes later. That person consciously evaluated their body, decided they were cool, and then probably experienced some form of immediate regret as the car pulled back onto the highway. This person sucks.

Of course, this scenario applies outside of cars as well. For instance, in Vegas if someone stops to pee, everyone should stop and pee. Invariably, that one guy that decides not to pee ends up slowing the whole group down 10 minutes later just as they are rolling again.

The good news is there is a simple way to avoid this: don't pass up a free opportunity to hit the bathroom. If someone is going and you haven't gone recently, walk in the bathroom and try to squeeze out a few drops - you'll be surprised at how much you actually pee and you'll prevent yourself from being the db that passed up on the free opportunity.

Double M's Life Rules #16: Don't Yell at People for Mistakes

Posted by Double M




People in your life (including you) are going to mess up. How they react to those mistakes will make a huge impact on your life.

I learned in my life that there are certain things I can control - screw ups by other people isn't one of them.

People are going to mess up. They are going to forget to show up for a shift, or forget to email a customer, or say something stupid, or make a decision you don't agree with at all. And once they mess up, they'll come to you and apologize and. This is where you set the standard: Don't get sorry, get better.

If the person is apologizing to you, they already know they messed up. They don't need to hear things like "What were you thinking?" and "I can't believe you did that?" or "You're lucky I don't fire/break up with/ground you..." because they have already thought through most of the repercussions already. And if you try to use this stuff, it doesn't end up working anyway. Trust me, I have been yelled at like this for most of my life in one fashion or another. Eventually this stuff just gets tuned out.

Who are you helping by yelling at the person? Is it making them better? Probably not Is it making you feel better? Probably not Then why do it?

Instead of focusing on the bad (don't get sorry), focus on what we can do to prevent the problem from happening again and how to improve in the future (get better). Whether it is real life or work or your relationships or anything, if you spend your time trying to get better rather than dwelling on the negatives, you'll put yourself in a much better place and be a happier person.

Double M's Life Rules #15: Don't Share Email Addresses

Posted by Double M



Email Accounts are free. You should never share a single address with your wife or parents.

Have you ever finished the day and realized that there was a stain on the left butt cheek of your pants? Then you sit there feeling embarrassed wondering how many people noticed it, laughed, but said nothing to you.

This is how people who share emails will feel someday when someone tells them that it is foolish to share email addresses. Every time they give out their email (which is always like bobandsusanjankowski@aol.com or jimandnancysmith@compuserve.net or, even worse, westenhousterfamily@juno.biz) people snicker and think to themselves about how foolish this person is that they share an email address with other people.

Haven't they heard of Gmail? Yahoo? Hotmail? There are plenty of options for someone to have their own email address. Hell, even you, @braylonson, are rocking your own email address (and twitter account), and you're 2 at the time I write this.

There are plenty of reasons why you should rock your own email address (privacy, your email account is your login to a lot of websites, things like bank statements get sent to you, etc.), but if you aren't rocking your own person email address you just come across as socially inept and stupid. If you don't have your own email address and you are reading this, please, please, please just go get a free address right now.

Double M's Life Rules #14: Acknowledgement Texts are not Necessary

Posted by Double M




A text response of "k" or "ok" "yep" to a non-question is unecessary and a waste of our time.

We all know how texts work: I send you a text, it pops up on your cell phone, you see it.

Some texts have questions and require an answer ("Do you want me to come over?"). Others are simply a statement and require no response ("I'm grabbing a beer with Jimmy and Bunk."). In the latter case, I know you've seen my text (at least that is assumed), so telling me OK isn't necessary unless you feel like you need to give me permission. Sending me "k" is a waste of both of our time, even if it is only 10 seconds each (but at least it isn't a voicemail).

It isn't had to figure out: only send a text message if you have some actual value to add, acknowledgement texts aren't necessary

Double M's Life Rules #13: Don't Leave Voicemails

Posted by Double M



A quick text message is infinitely better than a voicemail.

Occasionally I'll walk away from my desk without carrying my phone. Invariably, I will return to a missed call. Of course, if the number is in my phone book, I'll just call it back. There is nothing worse than when that person leaves me a voicemail because now I have to debate whether I actually check it or just call them (hint: I always, always use the latter).

An even worse scenario is when I'm sitting in a meeting and purposefully don't answer. Now I've seen the call come in, decided not to answer, and know that I need to call the person back. Then, about 30 seconds later, my phone rings because a voicemail just came in.

Sadly, here is the content of most of my voicemails "Hey, what's up, Matt? Give me a call when you get this." Disgraceful. Why?

1) Everyone's phone will tell them that they have a missed call.
2) Look back at that message: No name, no phone number. Basically this is an acknowledgement that you know that I know you called but you've decided to leave me an inconvenient notifier on my phone anyway.

If you want to get through to me and I don't answer, there is a very easy way: text. If I don't answer it is usually for a good reason, and I'm much more likely to respond to a text message than check my voicemail (especially if I chose to not answer in the first place).

Of course, as voicemails pile up, the chance of me checking them and answering them diminishes greatly. After Vegas I had 22 voicemails. I listened to them, but if I had talked to that person post voicemail, I pressed the delete button before the end of the voicemail.

There are basically two reasons that are acceptable to leave voicemails:
1) The person doesn't have your number and you think they might have screened your call
2) You need to deliver a very important message and will be unavailable in the near future
3) You are calling a land-line with a bona fide answering machine.

So next time I don't answer, just shoot me a text (or sext).